Niles: Oh, well, you might try looking at it from Dad's point of view. As a policeman, he was in a position of authority and that's been taken away from him. Railing against the world is his way of controlling his ever-shrinking sphere of influence.
Frasier: Yes, well, I do empathize with him. It's just- I just can't help wishing I could just kick that cane out from under him once in a while. And that he would land on Eddie.

Niles: They are both sitting there like they own that table. Maybe if we both gave them the look.
Frasier: It's worth a try. [Niles and Frasier both sternly stare at them. They move.]
Niles: It worked. It worked.
Frasier: Niles, I'll never doubt you again.
[As Frasier and Niles high-five each other, another couple takes the table.]
Niles: Try the look on this table. I'm going to the men's room.

Niles: So, Frasier, now that chapter two of your life is in full swing, do you mind if I ask you something?
Frasier: No, go right ahead.
Niles: Are you happy? ... Did you hear the question?
Frasier: Yes, I'm thinking. It's a seemingly complex question.
Niles: No, it's not.
Frasier: Yes, it is.
Niles: No, it's not. Either you're happy or you're not.
Frasier: Are you happy?
Niles: No, but we're not talking about me.

Roz: Anyway, he said why don't we get some coffee and get to know each other? I don't know Frasier, I've got a strange feeling that this guy might be the one.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, honey, you say that about every guy you meet. Let's just see if this one calls back.

Martin: [to Frasier] He's not a flea bag.
Niles: Hey, Dad, how about those Mariners?
Martin: Shut up, Niles!

Frasier: Dad, please, we go through this little melodrama at least once a week. Will you just sit down? It's raining outside.
Martin: No, no. And I'll pay for coffee too, how much is it?
Frasier: A dollar-fifty.
Martin: For coffee? What kind of world are we living in?

Niles: Oh, here. [hands her his umbrella] Take my bumbershoot.
Daphne: Oh, isn't that nice. Well, at least someone appreciates my mother tongue.
Niles: Yes, well, I've always had an ear for your tongue.
Frasier: Oh, Niles!

Frasier: You know what, there's no reason to stop us celebrating anyway. We're going to take you out for dinner tonight.
Martin: No, you don't need to do that.
Niles: Absolutely. Absolutely. You name the place.
Martin: OK, how about Hoppy's Old Heidelberg? They were voted best bratwurst of all time for three years in a row.
Frasier: Ach du lieber!

Daphne: There you are. I've been up and down Third Street looking for you.
Martin: Oh, I was on Fourth Street, Eddie had already smelled everything on Third.

Frasier: So, what's new?
Niles: Well, Yoshi the gardener finally won the battle of the wills. He got Maris to dig up her camellias so he could put in that precious Zen garden that he's been hocking us about since last fall.
Frasier: How did that turn out?
Niles: Oh, it's beautiful, it's the perfect place for meditation. Yesterday, I found Maris smack-dab in the middle sitting in the lotus position.
Frasier: Well good for her. Apparently it's bringing out her spiritual side.
Niles: I'm not sure. She reading a Danielle Steel novel, making a nail appointment on her cellular phone.