Simon: Oh, come on, Rose, we both know that this boyfriend thing is a ruse. You don't have to play hard to get with me.
Roz: I really do have a boyfriend.
Simon: Oh, yeah?
Roz: Yeah.
Simon: What's his name?
Roz: Roger.
Simon: What color is his hair?
Roz: Brown.
Simon: What's his name?
Roz: Roger.
Simon: Is that the name you just said a minute ago?

Martin: Yeah, nice to see you again, Mrs. Moon. Martin Crane.
Gertrude: Oh, of course. You're the one who's kind enough to keep my daughter employed.
Martin: It's not kindness. She does a great job.
Gertrude: Well, she does what she can with what God gave her.

Frasier: What is your brother doing here?
Daphne: My dad couldn't make it, so Mum brought him instead.
Niles: Why? Why didn't your dad come?
Daphne: I don't know. I'm disappointed, but I'm not surprised. Dad doesn't like to travel.
Niles: Why not?
Gertrude: You know, that flight made my feet swell up like a couple of Christmas hams. Oh, Simon, give them a rub.
Simon: I rubbed them halfway across the Atlantic.

Daphne: Uh, Mum, your room's gonna be down that hallway on the left if you'd like to freshen up.
Gertrude: Oh, look who's the lady of the house. Spend a lot of time here, do you?
Simon: Are you kidding? She probably had it off in every room.
Gertrude: Simon Moon, bite your tongue. My baby girl's a virgin. Isn't that so, Daphne?
Daphne: Of course, Mum.

Daphne: Mum, I wish you'd stop bossing everyone around.
Gertrude: Oh, oh, oh. Listen to my silly girl. If she knew how to deal with men, she'd have a husband by now.

Daphne: What is it, Mum?
Gertrude: Oh, tell them, Simon.
Simon: Dad scarpered.
Daphne: He left?
Simon: Yeah.
Gertrude: It's true.
Frasier: Dear God, I do apologize.
Daphne: Oh, Mum, it can't be. I'm sure he just got sidetracked on his way home from the pub.
Gertrude: Well, I thought that myself for the first week. But no, he's gone for good.

Daphne: My God, what is all that?
Niles: Oh, it's just the stuff I'm gonna be keeping at your place. Oh, Roz, since you're here, do you mind giving me a ride?
Roz: What's wrong with your car?
Niles: I had to lend it to Frasier. His is drying out. Long story.

Roz: Well, uh, I don't think I'm gonna be able to get all that stuff in my car.
Niles: Oh, well, I'm sure once we get the rest of Daphne's stuff out, there'll be plenty of room.
Daphne: These are all my things.
Niles: Oh. Well, uh, I guess I could do without this dressing gown. Oh, but what if I'm wearing dark pajamas?
Roz: Yeah, that would be all crazy.

Niles: Well, I definitely know I'm gonna need this one.
Roz: Oh. I'll take it down.
Niles: Okay, thanks.
Roz: [weighed down by the weight of the bag] Niles, what do you have in here?
Niles: Um, ties.

Daphne: I just don't have the space, and I don't see your brother giving up any of his. Maybe this isn't gonna work.
Niles: I'm sorry. I thought this would make things easier.
Daphne: And it would if I had more room.
Niles: Hmm. You're right. That was thoughtless of me. Guess I'm just used to rattling around here all by myself. Sometimes I think this is too much space for just one person. You know
Daphne: Yes?
Niles: You could live here.
Daphne: Are you asking me?
Niles: Would you like to?
Daphne: Would you like me to?
Niles: Yeah.
Daphne: Then I will.