Martin: How did Cam take it?
Frasier: He was livid, thank you. [laughing] But I pointed out that the emissions from his over-sized vehicle endangered the health of anyone passing through the lobby and I won the day.
Martin: People bought that?
Frasier: Dad, I am an orator, hmm? It is not only that which is said, but the passion with which it is said.
Martin: You're saying it now and it just sounds like a lot of hooey.
Frasier: That's because I'm not orating right now. Oh, just go back to your paper.

Frasier: I'm sorry, Cam, but I believe the issue is closed. It was voted on by the majority in the spirit of the great democracy that is America. I believe that is check and mate. Good day.

Frasier: Boo-hoo, Cam. No more blocking my driver's-side door.
Martin: You think that's smart, ticking off the guy who lives right above us?
Frasier: Dad, we are protected by this building's constitution. Believe me, I will have Cam cited for a noise violation if he so much as drops a hint.

Daphne: [on the phone] Oh, Mum. Yeah, I'm sorry, I've been meaning to call, but Dr. Crane yells at me whenever I phone long distance.
Frasier: I do not.
Martin: Let her say whatever she needs to.
Daphne: [on the phone] Yeah, and poor old Mr. Crane. He's so feeble he can't even make it to the loo by himself.
Martin: Hey!

Frasier: Well, it's the end of an era.
Martin: Yeah. It's been the three of us under this roof for nine years.
Frasier: Do you remember when Daphne first came here? She was so young and naïve. I didn't think she'd last a week. Yet she somehow managed to forge a relationship with a blustery psychiatrist and a crotchety old man.
Martin: And with me too.
Frasier: Yes, Dad, with you too.

Martin: Well, we knew she wouldn't be around forever, but I never would've guessed she'd end up with Niles.
Frasier: I know. He's come so far since the dark days of Maris and Mel.
Martin: Well, I guess from now on it's just you and I.
Frasier: You and me, Dad.
Martin: This is gonna be great.

Niles: I hope Daphne's not having trouble with their luggage. I should have gone with her to the airport. What kind of impression does it make that I didn't go?
Martin: She didn't want you to go with her.
Niles: Yeah. What does that say?
Frasier: Niles, will you relax? You always make a good first impression.
Niles: Second. The first I made when I kidnapped their daughter from her wedding.

Daphne: My mother is very old-fashioned.
Niles: But if she thinks you're a virgin, how are you going to explain our plan to live together?
Daphne: I wonder how important it is that she ever finds out.
Niles: Well, what are you saying? We're just not gonna tell her?
Daphne: Well, I can still get my mail at your brother's, and my phone messages. And we can screen calls here.
Niles: That's ridiculous. We're adults. We're not gonna sneak around like this.
Daphne: Well, it's not forever. Mum's getting on in years, and she smokes like a chimney.

Niles: For the last five days that woman has made my life a living hell.
Frasier: You wanna trade? Simon put my $65 apricot skin polish on his muffins.

Gertrude: An empty can? I would have thought, with all your fancy dingle-dangles, you'd have something nicer for your guests who smoke.
Frasier: Well, customarily, my guests who smoke do so on the balcony.
Gertrude: This is lovely, thank you.