Jason: Okay, we'll catch you next time.
Frasier: Well, actually, you won't. Jason, Noel, you there. I've been living a lie. Let me tell you a little something about a few things I don't like: boxing for one. Sporting events of any kind. Barbecues, office parties, buddy movies. Any dish made with marshmallows. Things that I do like: the opera, the symphony, Elizabethan revenge dramas, et cetera. So, if you're not inclined toward any of these interests, well, then, our association can be civil at best. Are we all clear on this concept?

Martin: So she puts a few pictures out, what's the big deal? There's a whole part of your life she missed out on.
Niles: I guess.
Martin: Besides, I like seeing your old stuff. Ah, no one around here draws pictures any more. ... What the hell is this supposed to be, anyway?
Niles: Oh! That is an Egyptian battle scene from "Aida." That's Radames and that's the jealous Amneris... Oh, I misspelled "Amonasro." Oh, to be six again.

Frasier: Niles, do you think I'm elitist?
Niles: Of course I do. You needn't worry about that.
Frasier: No, not in the good way. At work today, I discovered an injurious graffito about me. Scrawled on the men's room wall.
Niles: No.
Frasier: Yes. Quote, "There once was a man, Frasier Crane, Who says he can feel your pain. But he acts like a snob, To the guys at his job, And I think he's totally lame."
Niles: That's terrible! There's a tense shift and a proximate rhyme. The scansion leaves a lot to be desired...
Frasier: Niles, you're missing the point.

Frasier: I have always striven to be approachable, the embodiment of the words "If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue..."
Niles: "Or walk with kings, nor lose the common touch."
Frasier: Exactly. [to the waiter] Thank you. [then] If my maligner truly knew who I was, then he would have found that a more apt characterization than "snob."
Niles: Assuming he's familiar with Kipling.
Frasier: [snickering] What are the odds?

Frasier: So?
Roz: Well, um, his name is Roger, and we've been kinda going out for the last couple of weeks.
Frasier: All right, tell us about him.
Roz: He's very sweet. And he's a garbage man. So go ahead, make your jokes.
Frasier: What jokes? Why does everyone assume I look down on the common man?
Niles: Oh, I've got a good one. So, even in his off time, he's taking out the trash.

Niles: Oh, oh, oh, oh. Bobby Fisher's autograph.
Martin: Well, son, it's been enough years, I can probably tell you the truth about that.
Niles: [holding it close to his chest] What?
Martin: ... Oh, look. A picture of you in your first little league uniform. Don't know why I said "first."

Daphne: Was that your game face?
Niles: Oh, no, no. I'd just lost a tooth to an errant pitch.
Martin: Tell her who was pitching.
Niles: I was.

Frasier: If you change your mind, he's more than welcome. It promises to be a real wing-ding. If being a snob is the reputation I've built around here, then this party will be the wrecking ball of congeniality that tears it down.
Roz: Yeah, say stuff like that.

Frasier: So, did you guys happen to see the game today?
Dennis: No, I missed that. Who won?
Frasier: Well, actually, it was a real squeaker. U-Dub pulled it out at the last second with a real clutch field goal. Say, Dad, what's going on?
Martin: I don't know.

Niles: Oh, well, that's a wonderful drawing of a... uh...turtle.
Daphne: No, that's me Dad crawling home from the pub.
Niles: Well why did you sign it "Dappy"?
Daphne: Oh, me Mum did that. My family called me "Dappy" because I couldn't say "Daphne."
Niles: Really?
Daphne: Yeah, I hated it. My brothers would sing "Dappy, Dappy, wet her nappy."
Niles: Well, I think it's precious... Dappy. I'm gonna call you that from now on... Dappy.
Daphne: No, you won't.
Niles: Well, how about I call you "Dappy" until you put my mementos back in the box. How does that sound, Dappy?
Daphne: Well, that's not fair.
Niles: Oh, Dad. You'll never guess what silly nickname Daphne was called as a child.
Martin: Is it worse than "Piles"?
Daphne: Well, that can't bring up fond memories.