Frasier: Roz, have you ever been set up on a date with someone whose name you didn't know?
Roz: Oh please, I've woken up with dates whose names I didn't know.

Frasier: Well, I just met this woman who's in town on business. She asked me to join a friend of hers for a drink at the Marina Tavern.
Roz: Oh... Well you know, there is no friend. The woman you met is the woman you're meeting.
Frasier: Oh, that's what I thought. I wonder why she wouldn't give me her name?
Roz: Well, when you're in town on business and you hook up with a stranger, no names is standard procedure.
Frasier: I'm not sure that's something you want to admit knowing, Roz.
Roz: I only know it from reading Erica Jong novels, okay?
Frasier: I'm not sure that's something you want to admit either.

Niles: Help me, help me! The head is stuck to my hand!

Frasier: Hi, Lilith. I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was a bear. It's good to see you.
Lilith: Likewise.
Frasier: Anyway, I'm sorry about all the missed connections today, but at least we have a chance to catch up, however briefly.
Lilith: Yes, well, sometimes with old friends, five minutes is enough.
Frasier: Ha! One minute!

Frasier: No. It is with a woman, a very vibrant, sexy woman.
Lilith: Ah. Good for you.
Frasier: Well, listen, if you're running late, and you need to cancel our drink-
Lilith: No, no, no. I've canceled on you once already today.
Frasier: Well, I canceled on you twice, that would make us even.
Lilith: That's why we're having the drink.
Frasier: Ah.

Lilith: Nancy, it's Lilith again. Listen, this thing with my ex-husband is taking a lot longer than I expected. But I will be there, I promise you.
Nancy: Uh-oh.
Lilith: What do you mean "uh-oh"?
Nancy: Well, I'm on the other line with your date right now, and... I think he wants to cancel.
Lilith: Before he's even met me? Well, uh... tell him I canceled on him first!

Nancy: Hi. So, I'm afraid tonight's off.
Frasier: Off?
Nancy: Yeah, that was my friend. She had second thoughts.
Frasier: Oh, really? Well, please tell your "friend" that I wasn't exactly bowled over by her first thoughts! [hangs up] I don't even know what that means.

Lilith: So what would you say to that drink?
Frasier: I'd say, "don't get too comfortable in that glass."

Frasier: So I'm in the middle of this date from hell, when Kenny walks in with his cousin, whom I'd passed on sight unseen. Turns out she's not only gorgeous, but her name is actually Miss Wright.
Lilith: Okay, you win.

Frasier: Say, are there any more kettle chips in the mini-bar?
Lilith: No. We can have either Gummi Bears or cashews, but I'm afraid we can't afford both.