Roz: Have you seen Frasier?
Bulldog: What, he's not back from the airport yet?
Roz: No. That's a lot of cheese and crackers, you're going to eat all those?
Bulldog: Don't be stupid, I'm having people over tonight.

Bulldog: So, Doc, did you get any?
Frasier: That is none of your business.
Bulldog: Ah, well, better luck next time.
Frasier: Did it ever occur to you that I'm merely being discreet? That I actually did meet a woman, I just don't care to broadcast it?
Bulldog: Sure, that might happen.

Frasier: Why does everyone assume that it's impossible for me to meet a woman?
Martin: No need to get mad. I'm on your side. I just feel bad for you.
Daphne: We all do.

Frasier: Her name is Kelly Easterbrook.
Daphne: Oh. The lotion girl. She has such milky skin.
Frasier: I thought so, yes. Hmm. We were inseparable the entire weekend.
Daphne: You know, some people think I look like her.
Frasier: Oh, yes. [Frasier gives Niles a curious look.] Anyway, I've got a picture of her, I'll be right back.
Niles: Well, it's one thing to concoct a little white lie, but to come up with a supermodel?
Martin: Who dumped an NFL player for Frasier. [laughs]

Frasier: Here she is.
Martin: It's from a magazine?
Frasier: Yeah, yeah, she's in lots of magazines and billboards, too. Now she's my girlfriend.
Frasier: Well, I'm off to bed. I didn't get much sleep over the weekend if you know what I mean.
[Frasier goes to his bedroom]
Daphne: He just snapped like a twig, didn't he.

Frasier: [on the phone phone] Yes, Dr. Crane. I need my usual table in about twenty minutes. Oh, yes, and chill your finest bottle of Pouilly Fuissé. [hangs up] Well, modeling those swimsuits, she works up quite a thirst.

Niles: It won't be easy. We'll tell him that we know what's going on and that he doesn't have to pretend anymore.
Daphne: All right. But situations like that make me uncomfortable.
Martin: Well, you know, there's always the outside chance that we'll walk into that restaurant and some gorgeous supermodel will be draped all over Frasier...
[They all break out laughing]
Niles: That's a good one, Dad.
Daphne: We needed that.
Martin: Yeah, I thought we could do with a little tension breaker.

Martin: We were just in the neighborhood. Thought we'd stop by, see if you've changed your mind about the movie.
Frasier: You seem to be awfully persistent, but you know, I just may join you. My date cancelled at the last moment.
Niles: Listen, Frasier. Whatever it is that makes you feel the need to perpetuate this fantasy woman, you don't have to on our account.
Frasier: Fantasy?
Martin: We're your family. We don't care if you haven't been out with anyone in quite a while.
Frasier: My God, you actually believe that I invented this relationship.
Martin: Hey, Frasier, it's no crime to go down to Acapulco and come back empty-handed.
Frasier: I did not come back empty-handed, I came back with two huge handfuls.

Kelly: Good news is that I was able to move all of my eggs over to another lab.
Frasier: Well, I hope you didn't put them all in one basket. [laughs]
Kelly: Why does everyone think that's funny?

Kelly: I'm replacing someone, so it's all very last minute. We leave in the morning. I'll be there for two months, inseminating indigenous iguanas. I've called all my friends, they couldn't believe it.
Frasier: Nor will mine.