Mr. Rugly: It's all right, Dr. Crane. It's a great suit, by the way.
Frasier: Thank you.
Mr. Rugly: Your-
Frasier: I know, it's a bit risky. People have been commenting on it all day. It makes a bold statement, but frankly I like it. I cut through the park on the way over here and it caught the eye of many a young lady. [looking down] Oh God, my fly! I thought you were talking about my belt.

Mr. Rugly: I'm glad you could make it, Dr. Crane. I've enjoyed your work.
Frasier: Oh, that's very gracious of you, Mr. Ugly. Oh, dear, that didn't come out right, did it?
Mr. Rugly: What do you mean?
Frasier: The way I said your name right now, it sounded like I called you Mr. Ugly. I assure you it won't happen again. It's just a matter of separating the r's. Mr. Rug, Mr. Rug, Mr. Rug... [noticing the man's obvious toupee] Mr. Rugly.

Mr. Rugly: Anyway, I think you might be a good fit here. We need to find a replacement for Dr. Wendy.
Frasier: Really?
Mr. Rugly: Yes, we didn't feel it was quite right to keep her on any longer.
Frasier: Well, let me say I applaud your judgement on that score. I mean, frankly, Dr. Wendy's saccharine style, it may be very popular, but you know, it's really not up to your standards, is it?
Mr. Rugly: Dr. Wendy's my mother. She's quite ill.
Assistant: Can I interrupt?
Frasier: Oh, please.

Mr. Rugly: Is this the giraffe from my bookcase?
Frasier: Yes. Yes, it is. I'm sorry. I was admiring it. It broke apart in my hands. But you know, if your child is anything like mine, he'd be delighted to make you a new one.
Mr. Rugly: Actually, my father made it after his stroke.
Frasier: Well, I think you've got enough to go on. It was lovely meeting you. [extends his hand out, accidentally knocks a cup of coffee onto Mr. Rugly's lap] I'm sorry, you know, I'm going to have to rush if I'm gonna beat that tow-truck.

Niles: Didn't you bring home a case of dog food yesterday?
Martin: Yeah. It was the economy stuff, he wouldn't touch it, so I've got to take all of it back. This is his favorite kind.
Niles: Well, I guess what they say is true. Once you've tasted animal by-products you can't go back to the cheap stuff.

Niles: Hey, have you picked the restaurant for tonight?
Martin: Hey, I've got a better idea than that. My old precinct's having one of their seized property auctions down at the fairgrounds.
Niles: Oh, what's the better idea?
Martin: Come on, Niles, these drug dealers have some pretty nice stuff.
Niles: As much as I've been searching for a wide-brimmed purple velvet hat, it's really not my cup of tea.

Martin: Sorry your interview didn't go well, Fras.
Frasier: Oh, it's alright, Dad. You know, things don't work out the way we'd like them to sometimes. Much like my strict, "No shopping trolleys in the apartment policy."

Daphne: I bet if you just went in there with a sunny attitude, you'd have a good time.
Frasier: No, I tried sunny last time, you know where it got me? Table 97, singing "Goodbye my Coney Island Baby" with the Checkmates.

Niles: I thought you were staying home?
Frasier: Yes, well, not any more. I ran into Percy Williams down at the grocery store. He mistook me for a street person. If I don't get down there and defend myself, he'll be passing around that rumor along with the Swedish meatballs.

Roz: You have no idea how big you owe me.
Frasier: Yes I do, Roz, and I will never ask you for another favor again. Except could you possibly do something with your hair? It seems to be leaning.
Roz: Frasier, when you called I was in the tub with a pint of Haagen-Dazs. Considering that was fifteen minutes ago I think I look pretty good.
Frasier: I appreciate it, Roz, I really do. It's just, Daphne, could you please help Roz getting finished?
Roz: I am finished.
Frasier: No, no, no, finish more. And remember what I told you.
Roz: Oh yeah, right: I'm a model-slash-doctor-slash-daughter of the Duke of Luxembourg.
Daphne: Yes, come along, Your Grace.