Martin: I'm never going to that grocery store across the street again. They gave me such a hard time just because I brought Eddie in.
Niles: Well, it's not exactly sanitary, Dad.
Martin: Oh yeah? Well, when they get rid of the guy with pinkeye who's handing out cheese samples, then they can talk to me about sanitary.

Frasier: No, I'm not going.
Martin: Why?
Frasier: Because I'm cursed. If I wasn't convinced before today's interview, I certainly am now.
Martin: But you haven't even heard anything. For all you know, you might have gotten it.
Frasier: Believe me, Dad. I have a better chance of being crowned "Miss Teen USA."

Frasier: Roz, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot to call and tell you that, well, we're not going.
Roz: Wait a second. I found a babysitter at the last minute. I got a new dress, I got Miguel to do my hair and just spent the last hour listening to the Estee Lauder lady describing her bladder operation just so I could get a free makeover. And now you're saying we're not going?

Niles: He thinks the Fates are conspiring to humiliate him at every reunion.
Martin: Oh come on, you don't really believe that, do you?
Frasier: All right, let's examine the evidence. Daphne, would you assist me, please? This is my school newsletter.
Daphne: "The Bryce Academy Crier".
Niles: Which, coincidentally, was Frasier's nickname his first year there.

Martin: Now, now, Frasier. Everyone has ups and downs. You know, for all we know that cure for cancer didn't pan out either.
Niles: One can only hope, Dad.

Frasier: Percy Williams. Oh, wow, good to see you. I suppose you're on your way to the reunion.
Percy: Uh, yes. Yes, I am.
Frasier: I couldn't make it this year myself. A little too much on my plate, things have gotten crazy.
Percy: I see that. I heard you weren't on the radio.
Frasier: You did?
Percy: You know, my wife heads up a charity that helps get homeless people back on their feet.
Frasier: Yes, I know. The Boot Strap Foundation, it's very popular in my circle.
Percy: You should call. They could help you.
Frasier: Me? You thought- Oh, that's very funny. The shopping cart, the dog food. I'm afraid you're suffering from the wrong impression.
Percy: Dog food?
Frasier: Oh, it's not mine. It's my father's.
Percy: Call them, Frasier.
Frasier: No, really, you're mistaken. I'm not homeless. I live in that luxury building right there. Number 1901.
Percy: Frasier, take this.
Frasier: I don't need it. I drive a BMW, I collect African art.
Percy: You always were a proud one.
Frasier: I am not proud.
Percy: Then take it! And for God's sakes, spend it on food.
Frasier: I just threw out a $200 belt!

Daphne: Hey, how was the police auction?
Martin: Oh, you didn't miss anything. Especially when it started raining.
Niles: I made out like a bandit. Those drug lords have the most incredible taste. Christofle silver, Limoges, Orrefors crystal. If I ever get married again, I'm going to register there.

Roz: Okay, I'm ready.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, you look beautiful.
Roz: Thank you.
Frasier: But we're not going.
Roz: What?
Frasier: Well, I'm sorry, Roz. It's got something to do with my personal growth. You see, I don't care about these people anymore and you know, I want them to know it.
Roz: Frasier, I hired a babysitter twice, I did my makeup twice, I performed a miracle of engineering by taping myself into this dress twice. Only to be stood up twice?
Frasier: Roz, technically you only did your hair once.
Roz: Shut up! You know, some day you're gonna need another favor from me, buddy, and when that day comes, I hope you know what you can do with it.
Frasier: I have a pretty good idea.
Roz: Well, do it twice.

Frasier: The point is, in ten minutes I have an extremely important job interview. A job for which I am eminently qualified, but that now I have no chance of getting.
Niles: How can you know that?
Frasier: Because destiny won't allow it. Destiny's plan is for me towalk into that reunion this evening the way I always do, the class loser. Pitied and shunned by everyone until I wind up sitting with the most pathetic people there.
Niles: You mean... the chess club?
Frasier: Worse. The chess club's barbershop quartet.
Niles: Oh, the Checkmates.

Frasier: Hello, excuse me, I'm looking for Stephen Rugly's office.
Mr. Rugly: Well, you've come to the right place.
Frasier: Oh, splendid. Is it possible for you to fetch me a coffee before my interview?
Mr. Rugly: Well, uj-
Frasier: Oh, better yet, make it a cup of Chamomile tea, a squirt of lemon and a full teaspoonful of honey.
Mr. Rugly: We'll try to get that for you as soon as my assistant gets back. I'm Stephen Rugly. President of KJMC.
Frasier: Oh, Lord, I'm- It's nice to meet you. I'm terribly sorry.