Niles: How's Barney doing?
Martin: Oh, he's doing a lot better today.
Niles: Great. I brought him a treat. Millet and sunflower kernels with added calcium for beak conditioning.

Martin: You all right, son?
Frasier: Walked upstairs.
Niles: Why did you walk upstairs?
Frasier: Burning calories.

Daphne: Oh, yes, I saw you on TV. You know, that Kelly Kirkland is quite an actress. I once saw her in a production of Love Letters with Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Tears.

Frasier: I've decided to rededicate myself to this diet. The opposing team is captained by my old high school nemesis, Wayne Shafter.
Niles: [gasps] ... Which one was he?
Frasier: Thick neck, dead eyes, snapped your PBS umbrella.

Frasier: For the next two weeks, I shall be a speed-walking, calorie-burning, pound-shedding machine. Daphne, didn't you purchase some sort of stomach-tightening apparatus for Dad?
Daphne: The Ab Blaster or the Flab Buster?
Frasier: Right. I'll tell you what. Bring me both of them. I'll put them together, see if I can get a real good workout going.

Niles: It's kind of hard letting him go. Now I know how you must have felt all those times when you dropped me off at musical theater camp. Sad and frightened...
Martin: Lots of emotions, son.

Bulldog: Hey, what did I tell you about smoking in the booth?
Roz: Oh, bite me. I need something to kill my appetite. Besides your stupid, ugly face!

Gil: Thieves! Brigands! I had three-and-a-half ounces of sashimi-grade ahi in the fridge and one of you has stolen it.
Bulldog: Not me.
Roz: Well, it wasn't me. And it wasn't Noel. He thinks I'm going to do him in Vegas, so he's barely eaten in two weeks. That's why he keeps fainting.

Noel: How long was I out that time?
Roz: Ten minutes, big boy.
Noel: I've got a bump the size of an egg.
Kenny: Don't say "egg."
Noel: Don't tell me what to say.
Gil: I'm still waiting for my ahi.
Roz: Put a sock in it, Princess.

Frasier: Oh, it's a good team. Good people.Good God! [running after everyone] Wait! It's not worth it! It's sheetcake!