Frasier: Daphne! Daphne!
Daphne: What is it this time?!
Frasier: I had a dream! I had a dream! They are plotting against me!
Daphne: Oh, now now, Dr. Crane. I thought we went over this already. It's just your fever talking!
Frasier: Oh, that's just what you want me to think! You're probably in league with Niles! I know about the two of you! Oh, you pretend not to know, but you know!

Niles: Hello! This is Dr. Niles Crane again and no, we haven't taken leave of our senses. That bit of inspired lunacy you heard just before the commercial was just a little docudrama Frasier and I put together on the dangers of over-medication. Bravo, Frasier, for so brilliantly demonstrating why they call it "dope!"

Martin: Why'd you tell him it was a dream?
Daphne: No fun telling him the truth now when he's all doped up. I'll wait till tomorrow morning when he's good and lucid.

Frasier: Gee, I'm sorry, Blake. When I told you to close your eyes and visualize that you were on a tropical island, I didn't realize you were calling from your car phone.
Blake: "That's okay, Doc. At least I know my airbags work."
Frasier: Well, I'm glad you're alright. And thank you for your call.

Daphne: Oh, here's a gruesome bit. A partly-decomposed body just washed up in Puget Sound.
Martin: Hey, that's good news.
Daphne: I beg your pardon?
Martin: Bodies don't rise till the weather gets warmer. You get your first floater, and spring's just around the corner!

Daphne: You really should stay home and let me tend to you. I'm a very good nurse. I mended all my brothers' soccer injuries.
Frasier: Well, I didn't get injured playing soccer.
Daphne: Neither did my hooligan brothers. Mostly they got hurt beating up drunken Dutchmen in the stands.

Daphne: Oh now, Dr. Crane, I really don't think you're in any shape-
Frasier: Thank you! But the moment I give a fig for what you think is the day that England produces a great chef, a world-class bottle of wine, and a car that has a decent electrical system.

Frasier: Don't worry, Dad. As you've often said, "if you can walk, you can work." Took kind of an ironic twist the day you got shot in the hip.
Martin: Well, at least I had a real job. Half your listening audience hears voices already, and the other half talks to themselves. If you don't show up, who's going to notice?

Frasier: Dad, you know, you don't have to sit in here with me all day.
Martin: Oh, no, no problem. You need company when you're sick. You never know when you're going to croak.
Daphne: Oh, boy. Your temperature is up there, 101. You are a sick boy.
Frasier: Thank you for reminding me, Daphne.
Martin: Now, I remember the sickest I ever was. They'd shipped us back from Korea. I got this oriental parasite. It was building its own little pagoda right in my colon.
Frasier: Thank you, Dad.

Martin: Oh, no. That wasn't the sickest I was. It was that time your mother and I took that trip down to Mexico. I was real careful about the water, and then I ate this piece of lettuce. Next thing you know, I'm spewing both for accuracy and distance. I spent the night curled up on the stone floor screaming, "I want to die, I want to die!"
Frasier: Wouldn't that have been a tragedy? You wouldn't be here with me now!
Martin: Okay, I get the point. I'll give you a little peace and quiet here. [starts to leave] Oh, no! What was I thinking of? What about the time your mother left the potato salad in the trunk of the car? I'm still sick from that one.