Martin: Hey, Roz.
Roz: Hey, Martin! If you're looking for Frasier, he just left.
Martin: Thanks, but I was actually looking for you. I could use a little advice.
Roz: From me, really?
Martin: Well, if it stinks, I can always ignore it.

Roz: You know, I think that you're driving yourself crazy for nothing here. Of course Frasier and Niles are your sons. You're exactly like them.
Martin: Like? How?
Roz: Your strong sense of ethics.
Martin: Yeah, we are ethical. What else?
Roz: The way they spin out of control.
Martin: Yeah, that's true. They get that from me.
Roz: Their stubbornness.
Martin: I'm not stubborn.
Roz: Their defensiveness.
Martin: What's that supposed to mean?
Roz: The way they completely dismiss anyone who doesn't share their opinion.
Martin: Oh, now you're just being dumb.

Martin: I mean, you'd still love Alice if you found out you'd gotten the wrong baby at the hospital.
Roz: Sure.
Martin: And as a cop, I've seen that happen more often than you'd think. Especially at Seattle General.
Roz: I had Alice at Seattle General.
Martin: Oh, sorry. But the point was, that you'd love her just the same, so who cares who her real mother is.
Roz: I'm her real mother!
Martin: Okay, geez.

Niles: Oh. Why don't we use the name of that nice nurse from when I was in the hospital?
Daphne: Fong or DeShandra?
Niles: ... Fong.

Niles: Well, wait. Let's not drive ourselves crazy about this. It's a temporary name for a hypothetical child.
Daphne: Yes, but once you give something a name, it makes it more real. And then that name will always have a sort of priority. I don't care how often you say "elevator" or "apartment" or "crossing guard," to me they'll always be "lifts" and "flats" and "lollipop men."

Martin: Leland, there's a question I need to ask you.
Leland: Oh, yes, of course. Anything.
Martin: I'm a little uncomfortable even bringing it up, but I don't think I could let you leave the country without knowing the answer. I know that you and my wife spent a lot of time together. That you were close...
Leland: I... loved her very much.
Martin: Then I guess my question is, how much?
Leland: Enough to trust her with the fact that I'm gay.
Martin: Oh! [Martin lets out a small, relieving laugh]
Leland: You know, forty years ago people weren't as accepting as they are nowadays. And without someone like her to confide in... She quite probably saved my life.
Martin: Leland, she loved you too.
Leland: She really was something, wasn't she?
Martin: She really was.

Martin: My boys.
Frasier & Niles: [singing and playing piano] On a tree by a river, a littlie tom-tit
Sang "Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow".
And I said to him "Dicky-bird, why do you sit?
Singing 'Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow'?"
"Is it a weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried
"Or a rather tough worm on your little inside?"
[Martin throws down his cane in anger, slumps into his chair and puts on his headphones]

Frasier: Oh, that'll be Leland.
Roz: Who's Leland?
Martin: He was Hester's research assistant. Used to follow her around like a puppy. I think he was always a little bit jealous of me, to be honest. Not that he was alone.

Leland: And you must be... I'm assuming you don't go by "Niles" anymore.
Frasier: No, this is my producer Roz Doyle. My brother's not here.
Leland: [chuckling] Ah. My sincerest apologies. You are a handsome woman.
Roz: Oh. And it's nice to meet you, too. I guess I should be going.
Leland: Oh, not on my account, I hope.

Frasier: Can I get anybody a drink?
Leland: Well, not unless you happen to have any sherry.
Frasier: Oh, I think I can scare up a glass. Roz?
Roz: Oh, I'll have a beer, please.
Martin: Well, I can handle that.