Daphne: It's pre-kindergarten. They run around, they sing, they nap. I mean, how special can St. Osric's really be?
Niles: Well, I hear the top two percent in coloring and putting away can pretty much write their own ticket.

Frasier: We were just boys when he moved to France. Apparently, he gave up psychiatry and immersed himself in the Paris art world. Today, he sits on the board of the Paris Museum of Modern Art.
Niles: Wow. It takes a brave man to just chuck it all. Cross the ocean in pursuit of a new life in a new country.
Daphne: Or a brave woman.
Niles: Oh, yes, that's absolutely right. That's exactly what you did.
Frasier: Just like Dr. Barton you bade farewell to the comforts of hearth and home and filled your sails with the winds of change and adventure.
Daphne: I never looked at it that way. Now I'll have something to think about this afternoon when I'm rubbing your dad's bum.

Leland: Frasier, this is remarkable. You and I seem to have the same taste in art. Rauschenberg, Otterson, African statuary and sculpture. Although, I must confess, I'm not familiar with that one.
Frasier: Oh, that's because while most Ashanti statues are intended to ward off evil spirits, this one was designed to distract me while my pockets were picked at the Kinshasa Airport.

Roz: You two have a lot in common. Psychiatry and sherry and art...
Leland: And furniture. That is a Coco Chanel sofa unless I'm mistaken.
Frasier: It is an exact replica of the one in her Paris atelier. You know, not many people even notice it.
Leland: Well, not many people have passed out drunk on the original.
Frasier: Oh, I would love to hear that story.
Leland: Well you are in luck, because I love to tell it.

Niles: Leland, it is such a pleasure to talk shop with a fellow nutcracker.
Leland: And talking to you Jung people makes me feel like an "id" again.
Niles: Do you have a pun, Frasier?
Frasier: No, let's just sit down.

Martin: Well, I don't blame her for that. Leland's more like 'em than I am.
Roz: Really? You really think so?
Martin: Oh, come on. How can you not see it? They're like three fancy peas in a pod.
Roz: Well, I did notice that they have the same taste in art and music, and they even have some of the same mannerisms.
Martin: Yeah. And Leland and Niles are both allergic to rose hips and Jerusalem artichokes. Weird, huh?

Roz: When Leland started talking to me last night about how close he and Hester were, I started thinking what you're thinking.
Martin: [surprised look] And what am I thinking?
Roz: Nothing.
Martin: What are you saying? You think he's their father?
Roz: No, I wasn't saying that!
Martin: Lot's of people like art and sherry and French stuff. It doesn't mean they're related. By your logic, everyone on the cooking channel is their father.

Leland: Frasier, how are you doing?
Frasier: Oh, I'm afraid my stomach is still churning. I'm not going to be able to make dinner.
Leland: Oh, I understand. Well, I'll leave you to rest. Perhaps, though, later if you're feeling better, I can get your opinion on a short section of my autobiography.
Frasier: Well, when I can't give an opinion, you may as well call the coroner, tag my toe, I'm dead.

Martin: Oh, Fras, you want me to bring you back something from the restaurant? Maybe some Jell-o to sooth your tummy?
Frasier: Thanks, Dad, it's all taken care of. Leland's going to bring me some consomme and sorbet.

Leland: Well, Niles, it looks like your dad is going to take Frasier's place at dinner.
Niles: Oh, excellent.
Leland: What's the matter?
Niles: My leg's asleep.
Leland: Oh, move your foot around.
Niles: No, it's the whole leg. I'll just wait it out.
Leland: But the movement will get the blood flowing. Go ahead, give it a try.
Niles: No, I can't put weight on it.
Leland: Sure you can. Give it a try.
[Martin observes as Niles walks uneasily across the room to Leland, like a child taking his first steps:]
Leland: Come on, one step at a time. That a boy. Keep going, there we are. Good!