Niles: Wouldn't want to be the chubby kid in that gym class.
Martin: Or the boy in the monogrammed weight belt.

Martin: You know, Fras, when I was on the force, I went through a feud like this with Charlie Drucker, and believe me it's not worth it. I started out by making a joke about his chest.
Daphne: His chest?
Martin: Yeah, he was like a heavyset guy, and he had those, you know, "man-bosoms." So, he heard about it, and he got mad at me, and he wrote something about me on the men's room wall .And I should have just called it quits right there and then, but his name being "Drucker" brought out the poet in me. Then it just got worse and worse, and we both ended up looking like idiots.

Nora: Listen to me. You should be shunning this woman, not rewarding her with gifts. [disconnects] A baby shower for an unwed mother? Now I've heard it all. Who's next?
[outside the booth:]
Frasier: Roz, did her mother get here all right?
Roz: Yes, but I'm begging you. We could drive a stake through that thing's heart right now!

Roz: Frasier, we've got dead air.
Frasier: Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm sure Dr. Nora's listeners join me in hoping she and her mother can resolve these differences very soon. They're off to a bit of a bumpy start— [Nora screams] But at least the lines of communication are open! [Nora screams again as her mother chases her]

Nora: I want to thank you both for making me and my producer feel so welcome. Is everyone around here as friendly as you two?
Frasier: Well...
[At the sight of Nora's male producer, Roz comes out of her booth]
Roz: Well, hello there.
Frasier: Some are even friendlier.

Frasier: Well, Nora, please, please, do come in. Make yourself at home. Here we are. Get settled in. Here's your headset. Of course, the phone lines. Everything's pretty self-explanatory. Cough button, on-air button. Listen, I want you to remember it's all right to be nervous. Even my first show was a tad bumpy.
Kenny: Bumpy? [laughs] It was a train wreck. "Medic, we got incoming!"
Frasier: Yes, thank you, Kenny. As I recall, you weren't even here then.
Kenny: Oh, I got a tape of it from my Secret Santa.

Frasier: Turn on the radio.
Martin: Something the matter?
Frasier: Just turn the radio on to KACL, please.
Nora: [on the radio:] Listen to me, you have a child. You think you have the right to get divorced just because you're tired of your husband?
Jill: But he's gay!
Nora: You picked him. You made a baby with him. Maybe you got him drunk. Maybe you dressed up as Antonio Banderas. I don't care. Just make it work!

Daphne: [crossing the room] No, Mum, my boyfriend hasn't dumped me for someone prettier and smarter yet. [laughs] She's such an old tease.

Kenny: Dr. Nora, don't hit me! [laughs]
Frasier: I want to talk to you about Dr. Nora's show.
Kenny: Yeah, well, get in line. The switchboards were going nuts.
Frasier: I don't doubt it.
Kenny: They love you.
Frasier: Excuse me?
Kenny: Well, except for the ones that hate you. But either way, they're listening. So you consider that option picked up.

Tom: "Hi, Dr. Nora, my name is Tom, and I have this co-worker who's really driving me up the wall. What can I do about it?"
Nora: Not a thing, Tom. Not one damn thing. [turns to look at Frasier]