Martin: Because you're crazy, that's why! Claire's perfect for you, but I like her, too. How many times does that happen?
Frasier: But what about Lana?
Martin: Oh, forget Lana. Stay with Claire. [monotone] Stay with Claire. Stay with Claire.
Frasier: Dad, I am not a lobster.

Daphne: Who could blame you? I'm not sure about Claire either. God knows she has quite the fan club around here, but I think you can do much better. You'll know when you meet the right person. You'll feel it in your gut.
[A queasy Niles rushes into the airplane bathroom]

Kirby: Hey, Roz.
Roz: Kirby.
Kirby: It's been too long.
Roz: No, it hasn't.
Kirby: Or has it?
Roz: No.

Frasier: So, what brings you here?
Lana: Well, actually we just picked up the invitations for Kirby's graduation party.
Frasier: Oh.
Lana: Roz, you're invited too. After all, you motivated Kirby to study.
Roz: Well, no, Frasier was the one who helped him. I was just his last-minute prom date.
Lana: You were the prize that I kept my eyes on. And, uh, for your FYI, I'm cool for hanging out, just as "platatonic" friends, or whatever.
Lana: Um, Kirby, we should go if we're gonna pick up your inhaler.
Kirby: Thanks a lot, Mom! [to Roz] I only need it in the fall.

Lana: Well, we'll see you at the party.
Frasier: Right.
Lana: Hey, Frasier, don't you be a stranger.
Frasier: Oh, no, I-I won't. Uh, don't you be a stranger, either. To me.

Roz: Let me guess. Lana in, Claire out.
Frasier: What, that? Oh, that was nothing. It's just, she merely caught me off guard. Don't go reading anything into that.
Roz: OK, if you say so. Listen, Frasier, I got to go.
Frasier: Oh, alright.
Roz: But let not... either us... be strangers... be.

Guy: Yeah, thanks. Hey, do you give advice, you know, off the clock?
Frasier: Well, this isn't really a good time.
Guy: Well, because I've really gotten my life into a tangle.
Frasier: I'm sorry.
Guy: No, but, you see, I'm torn between these two women.
Frasier: I'm listening.
Guy: I'm with this woman, her name's Kathy. She's great. But the only problem is, I can't stop thinking about my ex. I mean, she was a real handful, but now that we're apart, I just miss her like crazy.
Frasier: Of course you do. And no matter how hard you try to focus on this new relationship, your mind keeps drifting back to her.
Guy: Exactly! I mean, I even have these, um...
Frasier: Dreams.
Guy: Yes! Wow, you're good. What should I do?
Frasier: Well, what are you thinking of doing?
Guy: Classic shrink response. Um, I'm thinking... do I really want to break things off with this woman?
Frasier: Who you thought was so perfect for you.
Guy: Okay, but how perfect could she be if I'm obsessing about another woman?
Frasier: That's the conundrum.
Guy: I know, but am I sure enough to break her heart?
Frasier: Especially when the rest of the family just loved her.
Guy: Yeah- No, they don't.
Frasier: All right. Stick with me, stick with me. It all boils down to this. Which of these two women do you see spending the rest of your life with?

Guy: Well, I think it's pretty obvious what I have to do. What a relief. Thanks, Doc.
Frasier: Wait, wait. Let's go back. Just so I'm sure you're sure-
Guy: Yeah.
Frasier: Who are you picking?
Guy: My ex. I mean, if I'm really honest with myself, she's the one I love. As long as I stay with Kathy, I'm just being a jerk.
Frasier: Oh, well, to be fair, you have struggled with these issues.
Guy: No, I've really just been trying to have my cake and eat it too. [shakes his hand] Thanks, Dr. Crane. I know what I have to do now.

Daphne: I'm sorry I'm a little late. I'll start your lunch right away.
Martin: Oh, no need. Claire made the best deviled ham sandwich in the history of deviling.
Daphne: Oh, too bad. I missed her.
Martin: Mm. More good news. She's still here.

Claire: You know the secret to making fish jerky, don't you, Marty?
Martin: No idea.
Claire: Feed 'em coffee.
Martin: Feed 'em...? [laughs uproariously] That's terrific! You hear that, Daph?
Daphne: I'm standing right here.