Niles: Excuse me, miss, do you have the time?
Roz: Yes, it's- [looking up, double-take] Niles?
Niles: [Jamaican accent] Ya, mon!
Roz: You look... did you get hit on the head by a coconut?
Niles: The coconut of revelation. I discovered a whole new side of myself in Belize, and I'm not going to abandon Island Niles just 'cause my vacation's over.
Roz: Well, Island Niles might want to rethink the short pants.
Niles: Island Niles would prefer not to wear pants at all.

Kristi: You told me not to come because this was just gonna be some boring party with your mom's friends.
Kirby: Roz is my mom's friend
Kristi: She was your prom date!
Kirby: Damn, baby, why you got to be this way? I'm trying to show you respect by keeping you from seeing my other lady.
Roz: I was never his lady!
Kirby: Damn, baby, that's cold.
Kristi: She's old enough to be your mother, practically.
Roz: Damn, baby, now that's cold.

Daphne: What happened to my noble savage?
Niles: I'll tell you what happened. Roz told me about this wonderful nude beach, so I went down there this
morning to check it out for us. Well, it was so peaceful I decided to do my sunrise Tai Chi, have my naked body caressed by the rosy fingers of the new dawn, you know?
Martin: Oh, jeez.
Niles: Well, I left my clothing and my cares in the car, walked down to the beach and settled in for my first exercise, "Grasping the Bird's Tail." Just at that moment, the sun peeked over the mountaintops, illuminating not only my splendid nakedness, but the bus for the Christian Women's Society.
Martin: They went to a nude beach?
Niles: No, and neither did I. Uh, the next few minutes are a blur, as I zig-zagged my way back to the car, while being pelted with driftwood and Bibles. Needless to say, Island Niles died on that beach.
Daphne: Oh, honey. Will he ever be back?
Niles: Maybe at Christmas.