Frasier: Dear God. We are the Collyer brothers. Why don't we just face the inevitable. Let's just cancel the whole damn thing.
Niles: Of course, canceling the party twenty minutes later people'll think we're strange.
Frasier: Well, frankly, I'm sick and tired about giving a damn about what other people think. You know, most of them are one marble away from not being here in the first place.
Niles: You're right. So we spend a lot of time together, so what? I enjoy it.
Frasier: So do I, Niles. You know, we can make those calls tomorrow to cancel. I'm famished. Why don't we just head over to Campagne for dinner, my treat.
Niles: You're on. Unless you think it's too odd to have dinner together.
Frasier: [laughs] Oh, I don't think we're in any danger of that. If our relationship became truly odd, I think we're both intelligent enough to recognize the signs.
[Frasier's doorbell rings. He opens the door, but there's nobody there]
Frasier: I think I'll pass on dinner.
Niles: Okay, good night.

Frasier: Is that your dry cleaning?
Roz: No, it's Daphne's. Alice spit up on her dress so I had to have it dry-cleaned for her. I also had to buy her new shoes and detail her car. I've never seen a kid so sick.

Martin: My poker game's here that night.
Frasier: Can't you reschedule it?
Martin: No! It's always the third Saturday of the month and everybody shows. Jimmy once postponed his daughter's wedding just so that he could be here, and if you ever saw his daughter you'd know how risky that was.

Frasier: Dad, please, couldn't you at least make a few calls? I tell you what, if you can change the day, I'll cover your losses that night.
Martin: Well, all right, I'll try. But you know, these guys live pretty busy lives. I can't always get in touch with them.
Niles: Yes. Let's hope that dog track has a PA system.

Niles: Daphne, wait, wait, wait, wait, there's something on the back of your dress.
Daphne: Oh, my God, it looks like bleach or something. The dry cleaner must have done it.
Roz: I saw it, it's nothing.
Daphne: You saw it?
Roz: Don't worry, it's hardly noticeable.
Daphne: Dr. Crane noticed it.
Roz: That's because he's always looking at your...
Niles: Roz!

Niles: You know Daphne, I bet I would be able to get that out for you.
Daphne: No. The cleaner's spoiled it, he can damn well fix it.
Niles: It would just take...
Frasier: Niles! [on his phone] Can I speak to Cornell, please? Yes, of course I'll hold.
Niles: [going to Daphne's room again] Daphne, I mean it, if I just had a toothbrush and a jeweler's...
Frasier: Niles!

Frasier: Now you, me and the fabulous Ashbys. That leaves six chairs to fill.
Niles: Well, we'll have to have Joan and Ted Birkin, that's a no-brainer.
Frasier: Technically that's two no-brainers. Forget the Birkins.

Niles: How about the DiFalcos?
Frasier: Blackball! She is a twit. How about the Whitneys?
Niles: Blackball! He's a dolt. Cromwells?
Frasier: Blackball!
Niles: Look, if you're gonna... Wait a minute, you're out of blackballs. This is a dried-up old fig.
Frasier: So is Missy Cromwell. I don't want her at my party.

Frasier: They've got the 11th free.
Niles: No good, we've got that concert.
Frasier: I didn't ask you to that.

Niles: Well, thanks to your keen sense of smell, we've lost both caterers. I suppose we can always get Kiki Price.
Frasier: She still in business?
Niles: Yes, they dropped the charges.