Frasier: All right, we each have a right to blackball, let's say, three guests. We will each get an equal voice.
Niles: That's fair enough.
Frasier: That's three for me and three for you. And just to get the blackball rolling, bye-bye, Birkins!
Niles: What about John and Carol Peterson? Everyone loves them.
Frasier: Not everyone. Blackball!
Niles: Why?
Frasier: No, no, we never question the blackball. We just bow to its will.
Niles: Fine, Nina and Arch Duncan.
Frasier: "The Drunken Duncans"? Have you lost your... Wait a minute. You loathe the Duncans, you just want me to waste a blackball.
Niles: That's insane, I adore the Duncans.
Frasier: Really? Well, perhaps I misjudged them. Very well, Niles, the Duncans it is. Nina and Arch...
Niles: Oh, stop it, they're hideous. Blackball!

Frasier: [on the phone] The 11th should be just fine. Oh no, they've got a conflict. Oh, well that's no problem. They were our very next call. We absolutely adore the Duncans. All right, we'll see you then.
Niles: Not the drunken Duncans?
Frasier: I'm sorry Niles, they've got plans for the Ashbys on the 11th, so they're invited, too.
Niles: Well, I want my blackball back.
Frasier: The blackball once dropped can never be-
Niles: Shut up!

Frasier: [on the phone] Joaquim? Joaquim is coming in from Argentina, you'd like him to, to join us... Well?
Niles: Joaquim Juarez, he's the conductor of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic.
Frasier: [to Niles] My God, that's right, they were just down there, they must have met him. [on the phone] We would love to have Joaquim join us. Oh, that's splendid. All right. Right. Then we'll see you on the 11th. The 11th. All right, take two swizzle sticks and stand them up side by side. Eleven, that's right.
Niles: We've got Joaquim.
Frasier: Well, don't cry for me, Arch & Nina.

Niles: Oh, Roz, perfect timing.
Roz: What's up?
Niles: We're having a dinner party and we need an interesting single woman. ... Do you know anybody? We're desperate.

Frasier: Naturally we thought of you first, Roz, but this isn't really your kind of crowd.
Roz: What? Sophisticated, cultured, is that why you don't think I'd fit in with your snooty elitist friends? I'm not genteel enough?
Frasier: Now Roz...
Roz: Now Roz, my ass. I'm just as refined as you are. Shut up, Niles.

Martin: I'm not changing it back. I'm not.
Frasier: Now, Dad, I would never even consider asking you to do such a thing. I tell you what, there's no reason why we can't hold both parties simultaneously. The apartment's certainly big enough.
Martin: I know what you're trying to do, and it won't work.
Frasier: What, Dad? I'm serious. No, no, we can share the buffet table and we can even have the harpist learn a couple of Bobby Darin tunes for your crowd.
Martin: I can stand it if you can.
Frasier: Of course, we will have to dim the lights at one point. You see, Nina Duncan always insists on sharing her extensive collection of slides from the summer she danced Agamemnon at Jacob's Pillow.
Martin: ... All right, I'll change it.

Frasier: Perhaps she has a point. Ever since your divorce you have become more and more attached to me. Maybe that's why she said what she said.
Niles: What?
Frasier: You get Frasier, you get that Niles.
Niles: She didn't say that. She said "you get the one, you get that other one." What makes you think that you're the one and I'm that other one?
Frasier: Because I am the one giving the party, and you are that other one.
Niles: Yes, well, I'm the one that invited her, so that makes you that other one.

Niles: Allison Wolpert can say what she wants, why should we care a whit about what anybody else thinks. Am I right?
Frasier: Absolutely. [to Martin] Dad, do you think we're odd?
Martin: No, you're not odd. You're just special. Your mother told me that when you were kids and I still believe it.

Frasier: You know, maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea if we went our own ways a bit more.
Niles: Well, it's possible we have grown a tad dependent on one another.
Frasier: Perhaps this is just the warning we need. Today we're planning a dinner party, tomorrow we're wearing matching pajamas and washing each other's hair. Let's face it, Niles, we are one stone's throw away from becoming the neighborhood kooks. Right down to the local children ringing our doorbell and running away.
Niles: Now, Frasier, you are letting your imagination get the better of you. Come on, let's go make a seating chart.
Frasier: You always know how to cheer me up.

Niles: So where does that leave us?
Frasier: Well, let's see. We have a third-rate caterer with a record, two lushes, a couple who think we're both nutcases, an Argentine wild child and Roz. Dinner is served!
Niles: I still have one blackball left.
Frasier: At this point I don't think one is going to make any difference.
Niles: It will to me, I'm using it on myself. Blackball!