Frasier: Well, you know, seeing as we're friends and all, I suppose there's no reason we shouldn't stay and enjoy what's sure to be a splendid meal.
Sam: Absolutely.
Frasier: Great.
Waiter: Your first course.
Frasier: Ah, thank you. Tell me, how many more courses are there?
Waiter: Six, sir.
Frasier: Could you bring those all at once?

Daphne: I must say, this Sam of yours is quite a catch. She's gorgeous, smart, stylish...
Frasier: We broke up last night!
Daphne: Orange juice, anyone?

Martin: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Fras.
Frasier: Oh, it's all right. It was a mutual decision. Well, a little more mutual on her part than mine. Once she dumped me, I jumped right on board.

Frasier: But I must admit, I'm having a little difficulty achieving closure. See, Sam said that her feelings changed for no reason. I can't help it might have been something specific about me.
Martin: Now, hold on, don't try to make this your fault.
Daphne: Yeah, she's probably telling the truth. If a woman's trying to spare your feelings, she'll give you the old, "It's not you, it's me".
Frasier: That's exactly what she said.
Daphne: Waffles, anyone?

Frasier: I know I played the piano in the lounge a little too long but who knew General Schwartzkopf was so crazy for show tunes.

[Frasier bumps into a man, almost knocking his grocery bags to the floor]
Man: What's the matter with you?
Frasier: That's just it. [voice cracking] I don't know.

Niles: Where is Frasier? He knows we have reservations at Bavetta's. If you're late they give away your table and make you sit in the kitchen with the owner's mother.

Martin: What the hell did I do with that remote? Daphne, are you sure you haven't seen it?
Daphne: Positive.
Martin: They ought to make one with a sensor on it. You get more than twenty feet from the TV, it senses it and starts beeping. Maybe for a deaf person they could make one that has purple smoke coming out of it like some kind of flare system or something.
Daphne: Mr. Crane, I'm begging you, you've got to get out of the house more!

Frasier: I know that you're afraid to hurt my feelings but I can stand a little constructive criticism. Now, come on, please, what do you think are my main faults?
Martin: Well, let's start with what you're doing now. You analyse everything to death. Sam said it wasn't your fault but you keep digging around and digging around until you drive everybody nuts.

Daphne: If you want my advice; the best thing you can do is nothing. Just leave her be to think about what she's missing out on.
Roz: I totally agree. No candy, no flowers and what ever you do, don't call.
Frasier: Well, I don't see anything wrong with keeping the lines of communication open.
Roz: Oh God, you called didn't you?
Frasier: Well, maybe I left a carefully worded message.
Martin: Oh, Frasier, you never call somebody who's broken up with you. It makes you look desperate.
Frasier: Well, I didn't have any choice, she wouldn't return any of my pages!