Frasier: Well, Freddie, you know, I've made some wonderful plans for our time together. Uh, I've already chosen the book we're going to read. I'll give you a hint, published in 1854, this paean to self-sufficiency was known as the "cornerstone of the transcendental movement."
[Niles stops pouring sherry and eagerly raises his hand]
Frasier: Yes, yes, Niles, I'll let you get the next one.

Frederick: I have to go to the bathroom.
Frasier: Freddie, I... I don't see a bathroom.
Martin: You're surrounded by fifty thousand acres of it.
Frasier: Ah. Oh, how quaintly rustic. Yes, Frederick, just pick a tree and make it your own.

Frasier: So, Dad, I thought we might do an activity later.
Martin: What kind of activity?
Frasier: Oh, I don't know. Maybe press some leaves, or-or whittle a bird call and see if we can lure some finches to our sill.
Martin: Take it easy, now. We want to save something for tomorrow.

Frederick: The kids at the next campsite built a rope swing. Can I go over?
Martin: Don't see why not.
Frederick: Thanks. [exits]
Frasier: What the hell was that?
Martin: It's just a rope swing. Wait'll he sees us drying leaves in the sun, he'll come running.

Roz: This is a bad idea. My hair's flat. Never have a good date when my hair is flat. If it's flat after, that's a good date.
Niles: Your hair is not flat, Roz. It's delightfully frizzy.

Martin: I'm gonna see if those kids have a generous grandpa with a six-pack.
Frasier: Sit!
[Martin sits back down and opens his journal up again]

Daphne: Doctor, my eye. That's Ted, the moron from the deli.
Niles: Are you sure?
Daphne: Oh, stop it. You invited him over here for Roz. Well, she's in no mood to be trifled with, and neither am I.
Niles: I'm sorry, I was trying to help.
Daphne: Yeah, well if you want to help, get rid of him.

Frasier: Oh gosh, Dad, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. You know, I guess I was just hoping this trip might give me and Frederick some sort of, I don't know, golden moment. I guess I'm just disappointed.
Martin: I know. But you know, none of this would be happening if we had a T.V. T.V. makes everyone get along.

Frasier: Niles?
Niles: It's "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau.
Frasier: Of course it is. It is life near the bone, where it is sweetest! Should be the source of much lively discussion, wouldn't you say?

Niles: Freddie, about what you just saw. I know you've always had special feelings for Daphne, and there's something I need to tell you.
Frederick: I already know about you guys.
Niles: Oh. Uh, and you're OK with that?
Frederick: I liked her when I was a little kid. I'm over it now. I mean, she's like a hundred.
Niles: She most certainly is not. It just burns you up that I got her-
Frasier: Niles!