Frank: So, what did you get me, and how come it's not here yet?
Ray: Because I special-ordered it.
Robert: I ordered the remote boat from a catalog and it got here on time.
Ray: I know. I know, I know. This is bull. You order something for somebody's birthday, it should be here. Tell me about it. I'm definitely going to call somebody, 'cause this is total bull.

Debra: You know, when I want to get my parents something, I just think about what they like. What does he like?
Ray: He likes the number three combo at Wo-hop's. Pork fried rice and egg roll.
Debra: Okay, so get him that. Just light the egg roll and tell him it's one of those hilarious trick candles. He'll love it. Good night.

Frank: Holy crap.
Debra: "Holy crap."
Marie: It's beautiful, Raymond.
Frank: It's huge.

Robert: Hey, Dad, you know that Civil War special is coming on. I got the boat.
Frank: Who needs TV? We got our own Discovery Channel right here.
Debra: Oh, Ray, he loves it.
Robert: "Ray, he loves it."
Debra: I liked your gift, too, Robert.

Ray: Come on, Dad. You did all right. Didn't you do better than your father?
Frank: Some contest.
Ray: Look, if it makes you feel any better I wouldn't be where I am without you.
Frank: Yeah, yeah.
Ray: So... Sorry for the gift.
Frank: It's all right. At least you tried.
Ray: So you weren't upset about death at all?
Frank: Not until you mentioned it. [opens beer can] Thanks, though.
Ray: Oh, boy, Debra was way off on this one.

Robert: Well, Dad, at least you still have the good old remote boat. Where is it?
Frank: I needed a coffin for Stan.
Robert: You buried Stan in the remote boat?
Frank: Ally wanted a ceremony. You don't flush a $40 fish down the toilet.
Marie: Wo-hop, wait. Take some fruit!