Debra: Ray, look at this. Why do you tell your father when things are broken? All he does is come over, bang on the thing, and then curse.
Ray: That's- That's old-man aerobics.

Ray: Aw, come on, Dad.
Frank: No, no. Gianni's your fix-it guy now. Call him dad.
Marie: That's not such a terrible offer.

Ray: Wait a minute. My father is going to go nuts here. He likes to fix things. I mean what am I going to tell him?
Debra: Gianni, while you're out getting a stove, could you pick up a spine for my husband?
Gianni: Why don't I just get you a new husband? 'Cause I know this one's leaking gas.

Frank: Hi there, Gianni. What you doin'?
Gianni: I'm just- Ray, you didn't tell him?
Frank: Tell me what? What's Gianni doing with the stove?
Debra: Just tell him, Ray. [Ray is silent]
Marie: I don't understand. Wh- What's going on?
Ray: It is weird. What are you moving the stove around for?
Gianni: You want me to go?
Ray: No, no. Look, it's no biggie. I mean, we're getting a new stove, and Gianni's helping us put it in.
Frank: What?
Ray: It's it's no biggie. [strokes Frank's cardigan] It's- You know, it's- The stove is- Lately, this one has been trying to kill us.

Frank: Whoa, whoa. This bill's going to cost two grand? What kind of screw job is this?
Marie: Oh, Frank Gianni's a good boy. He wouldn't give us a screw job.
Gianni: Thanks, Mrs. B. And it's going to be closer to 1,500.
Frank: Nuts! I can get this thing back in shape in five minutes, and all it'll cost you is lunch. Chicken croquettes I like.

Ray: Oh, by the way, you know how you told me that Amy also wants some kitchen-renovation crap?
Debra: Yeah.
Ray: So I recommended Gianni to her.
Debra: But-
Ray: I know, I know. Robert's going to get all weirded out because Amy and Gianni dated once or twice, but he's got to get over it. He's such a dope.

Ray: Come on! He's doing this as a favor, and-
Debra: Ray, it's not a favor if you're paying the person. Look, if he's not done by tomorrow, I'm unpicking him.
Ray: What are you talking about? We can't fire him.
Debra: No, you're firing him.
Ray: What?!
Debra: Yeah, 'cause he's your friend.
Ray: That's right! So we can't fire him.
Debra: We have to. We have to let him go.
Ray: Okay, so if it's "we," then you need my say-so, okay? You need my say-so if it's "we." My say-so!
Debra: I don't need your say-so.
Ray: Yes, you do so! You do so need my say-so! [to himself] Let him go. Maybe I'll let somebody else go.
Debra: [o.s.] What?
Ray: I said maybe nothing!

Ray: So, what do you say? Let's hook this bad boy up. Yeah.
Gianni: Hey, you hungry? 'Cause I can go for a sandwich.
Ray: Yeah. Me too, me too. You know what might be a better idea? Maybe to put the stove in first. You know, 'cause I'm just so damn excited to get this bad boy hooked up. So why don't we just put this in? And then I'll make you a steak, a nice, hot stove steak.
Gianni: Stove steak?
Ray: Yeah. What, you don't believe me? You put the stove in, and I'll show you. [looks back at Debra] Put the stove in.

Amy: Hi, Ray. We just wanted to stop by and say hi.
Robert: And some other things.
Amy: Robert.
Robert: Listen, man, what were you thinking when you recommended Gianni? He ripped out our sink and hasn't come back. I'm washing plates in the bathtub.
Ray: Good, 'cause now you know what a bathtub looks like. [Frank and Ray laugh] Ow, ow, ow! Ow, it hurts when I laugh.
Robert: Oh, really? Hurts when you laugh, huh?
[Robert lays down next to Ray on the bed and starts smiling]
Ray: What are you doin'? Seriously, man. Stop it. Don't make me laugh.
Robert: Who's making anybody laugh?
Ray: I mean it. Just stop it! Stop it! Ow!
Robert: I'm not doing anything.
Ray: Ow!
Marie: Robert, get your face away from your brother!
Ray: Ow!
Robert: That's for recommending Gianni!

Robert: What's worse, Ray knew Gianni stinks, but he chose to keep it a secret because they're friends.
Ray: Gianni doesn't stink.
Robert: No? Hmm, that's interesting because I think the very definition of a person who starts a job and doesn't finish it is stink...y. Stinky.
Amy: Robert, I know you're upset with Gianni-
Robert: Do you still have a thing for him? Is that what you're saying?
Amy: No! Robert, we only went out for two weeks!
Robert: Oh, so now it's two weeks?