Frank: So, this is good, huh? You and me watching a ballgame.
Ray: Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is nice. You know, there's another game next week-
Frank: Shut up, it's back on.

Debra: Hey. Listen, is Robert around?
Frank: Uh, Marie took him to his doctor's appointment.
Debra: Oh, good. 'Cause I wanna talk to you guys. [turns TV off]
Ray: Oh, good Lord Almighty, what?
Debra: Now, listen. Listen up, I've been thinking about what to get Robert for his birthday.
Frank: Uh, all right. All I have is a 10. Can this be for Christmas too?
Ray: [chuckles] Hey, can I go halfsies with ya?
Debra: You know, that's exactly why we need to do something nice for Robert. Because not only did he get gored by a bull, but he's had to put up with that kind of stuff for three months.
Frank: What does she want, another 10?

Debra: Hey, how did Robert's appointment go?
Marie: Not good.
Ray: What do you mean? What happened?
Marie: Well, I asked the doctor about the clicking in my jaw when I chew sometimes, and he said there isn't much I could really do about it.
Frank: I have a suggestion.
Ray: What about Robert?
Marie: Oh, no he's good. His therapy is going very well. In fact, he can move back into his apartment in three weeks.
Debra: Oh my God, another three weeks?

Marie: Raymond, please talk to him.
Ray: What? No, no. No way.
Frank: Come on, he's your brother.
Ray: He's your son!
Frank: You're gonna throw that in my face?
Marie: Raymond, we don't know what else to do.
Ray: Well, look, he's probably just going stir-crazy here. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you guys move?
Marie: Why would you say that?
Ray: Hmm. I'll talk to him.
Marie: I don't understand why you would want-
Ray: I'm talking to him!

Frank: How did it go in there?
Ray: Yeah, I, uh, stuck my fingers in his Fruit Loops.
Frank: What the hell is that? Get back in there.
Robert: No, no, look, he's out of his mind.
Marie: No, don't leave, Raymond. Please, here, have a brownie.
Robert: [enters] One. Aw, a treat for Mommy's snookums.
Ray: Ma, tell him I'm not your lapdog.
Marie: He's not my lapdog, Robert.

Marie: I have my perfume.
Ray: Yeah, that's good, Ma. Now it smells like a cow died in a whorehouse.
Debra: Why don't we open a window, huh?
Ray: Yeah, and jump out!

Debra: Okay, you know what? I think we all need to be a little more understanding of Robert. That is what families are supposed to do.
Frank: Is that some of your I'm-okay-you're-okay hippie crap?
Debra: No, it's just right.
Frank: Peace, man.

Debra: We're not gonna leave, Robert. It's your birthday. And by the way this is for you. It's from all of us. Huh? It's a gym membership.
Ray: Okay, that's it. Let's go.
Debra: Ray, wait a minute.
Robert: Aw, pictures of beautiful people running, rowing, and lifting weights.
Debra: Nice, huh?
Robert: Yeah yeah, everybody can build up their arm muscles pointing and laughing at Sergeant Chubsy-Ubsy.
Debra: Robert, we just thought that it might help you.
Robert: I'll tell you what, Deb, why don't you take it, huh? You can go and exercise and lose like half a pound and then officially be perfect. [sings] Perfect Debra, sitting in a tree P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
Frank: Hey, that rhymes.
Debra: Look, Robert. We were just-
Robert: All right, listen listen. Thanks for the present, thanks for coming over, thanks for everything, everybody, okay? You may just wanna go now. The birthday boy is gonna blow out the candle.
Ray: Just for the record, I said we should get him a stripogram.

Debra: I'm gonna talk to him.
Ray: All right, Deb, just stop it with the understanding bit.
Debra: It's not a bit, Ray.
Marie: You know, if Debra really understood people, she wouldn't serve that cake.

Debra: Come on, let's get out of here, huh?
Robert: Okay. Thanks, Debra. You're a good sister-in-law.
Debra: Thanks. You're a pretty good brother-in-law.
Robert: So, we we really are kind of alike aren't we? I mean, you feel sorry for yourself too when Mom and Dad bug you?
Debra: Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Robert: Yeah, but then deep down, you really kind of like it, right?
Debra: Yes! Yes, I do.
Robert: You're sick too.