Marie: What about Angela, Robbie? She seemed so genuine and so refined. We have so much in common.
Robert: Forget it, Ma. It's not gonna happen.
Marie: Oh, no! What did you do?
Ray: What happened, Robert? Did she eat another one?
Marie: What? Eat another what?
Robert: You don't wanna know, Ma.
Marie: You tell me right this minute, young man.
Robert: All right, Ma, fine. She eats bugs.
Frank: Come again?

Debra: So how many dates have you been on?
Robert: Well, tonight was the third one, and I know it's kinda early, but I'm getting this feeling. I don't know... I think she might be...
Debra: What do you mean? The one? Are you saying that you think Angela might be the one?
Ray: All right, whoa. Let's not jump the gun, okay? I mean, don't forget, he married one that wasn't the one.
Debra: So when are we gonna meet her?
Robert: Well, listen, I would love that, but I'm a little afraid about bringin' her over here 'cause, you know, Mom and Dad will pop by, and I kinda don't want her to meet them until... ever.

Marie: Hello.
Angela: Hi.
Marie: Hi. I'm Marie. Are you a single friend of Robert's?
Robert: Yes, yes. Angela, these are Ray and Debra's neighbors. Mom and Dad.

Robert: Actually, he's always been a little jealous of me.
Angela: Who wouldn't be?
Robert: And it's always bothered him that our mother prefers me.
Angela: Who wouldn't prefer you?
Robert: I really like you.
Angela: I really like you.
Robert: You know, he once sold my bicycle to another kid.
Angela: Robert?
Robert: Yes?
Angela: Could we kiss now?

Marie: Oh, Robbie!
Robert: Hello.
Debra: Oh, look at you.
Ray: What, is it rainin'?
Robert: No, Raymond. I'm a pearl diver.

Marie: I don't believe a word of that, Robbie. She had such nice shoes.
Robert: I had to go out the window.
Ray: Did she try to stop you with her tongue?
Robert: It's not funny, Raymond. [Frank laughs]

Ray: No, no, no! You bring her over to meet Mom and Dad right away! You gotta get it over with quick. It's like rippin' off a Band-Aid. Yeah, you let her know what she's in for, and if she doesn't run away screamin', then you know you got a keeper. Huh? Am I right, sqeeze-ioli?
Debra: Go away.

Marie: I don't wanna hear it anymore.
Robert: Hello.
Debra: Hey, what are you two doin' back so soon?
Marie: Your father made a scene, and we were escorted out of the casino.
Frank: Two buckets of nickels, and not one payout.
Marie: That's no reason to throw a roast beef sandwich at the machine!

Marie: How nice to meet you.
Angela: You too.
Marie: Oh, I see you were having a little get-together. If I had known, I would have never gone to Atlantic City. Why didn't you tell me, Raymond? [Ray is still too stunned to speak]

Debra: Are you drunk?
Ray: Look, I'm trying to help him!
Robert: How is this supposed to help me, Raymond?
Ray: I'm doing what any brother would do. If you see Debra eat a fly, I want you to tell me right away!
Debra: She did not eat a fly.
Ray: Yes, she-
Debra: No, she-
Ray: Yeeeeeees!