Pat: It's just that you heard how concerned I was about how his decision would affect Amy, and I don't see why you couldn't just support me.
Hank: We'll discuss this later.
Pat: Okay. But we won't.
Hank: So I'm just supposed to go along with you no matter how I feel?
Pat: I do it for you.
Hank: What do you mean?
Robert: No moving!
Pat: Well, I don't always like the vacations we have to take.
Hank: What's wrong with Colonial Williamsburg?
Pat: We go there every year. There's never anything new. And I hate to break this to you: There never will be.

Marie: But he's such a great alarm salesman. You heard what Ricky Safe-N-Sound said.
Amy: Marie, please.
Marie: I'm just talking. Since when is there a law against me expressing my feelings?
Frank: I've been trying to pass that legislation for years.

Robert: God, she has been on me since the day I signed up. "Don't go. You're way too big a target."

Debra: Listen, Robert. I mean, I know crime is bad, but do we really want to live this way, you know, always being afraid, hiding behind an alarm?
[Frank walks in the door with a piece of fried chicken. He puts the chicken in his mouth, unbuckles his belt, sits down and turns the TV on]
Debra: We'll take this one.

Amy: Robert, you've always said that wearing that uniform gives you such self-confidence. You know, how every day you put on that badge and squat down to look at yourself in the mirror.

Marie: Oh, Robert, I just want to say you should always trust that little voice in your head. Is your little voice saying, "Retire," or is it saying, "Don't retire"? Listen carefully. [exits]
Frank: A long time ago, my little voice told me not to do something... but I did it anyway. Now I'm stuck with a great big voice.

Amy: Where do you keep your after-Marie liquor?
Ray: We don't have any liquor.
Debra: Top cabinet, behind the Cream of Wheat.

Robert: Okay. So you could set the door alarms, or the motion sensors, or both at once. It's up to you. You see, with Castledoor, you're the king.
Frank: I don't need an alarm to scare away crooks from my home. I keep on old bat for that.

Amy: This is ridiculous.
Debra: Well, I agree. I think you're right. And I don't think Robert should retire.
Amy: See? She agrees with me, and she's the normal Barone.
Debra: Uh, technically, I'm not a Barone.

Robert: Okay, all right. Now, until tech support gets here, I'm gonna have to ask everybody not to move at all.
Hank: I was going to say, before that alarm set my heart into arrhythmia... that I don't think Robert should retire.
Amy: Thank you, Daddy.
Robert: No moving, please!
Hank: You see, I respect what you do, Robert.
Robert: Oh. Thank you, sir.
Hank: And I enjoy telling people that my son-in-law is a policeman, but if you were to retire... Well, I guess I could still talk about your unusual height.