Marie: What is a DVD player?
Ray: Come on, not now, Ma, please.
Marie: Is it for pornography?
Debra: Yes, Marie, I got Ray a porn machine.
Marie: I don't like that, Debra.

Frank: So what are you so upset about? Sounds like Mr. Muscle here is saving you some prep work.
Marie: I don't like that, Frank. And I have to say, Raymond, I think that Debra is playing a very dangerous game.
Frank: Oh, what are you talking about? Who cares where she gets her appetite as long as she has her meal at home?
Ray: Stop, stop!
Marie: Raymond. Raymond, you have to get Debra out of this class right now.
Frank: Why? This guy is helping out! Maybe Ray doesn't have what it takes to get Debra's motor running.
Marie: Raymond's got plenty!
Ray: Thank you! Mom! Huh! [exits]

Marie: Okay, yes! Frank and I succumbed to temptation once. Just once before we were married. I was weak and I fell for your father's boyish good looks. That was a long time ago. I knew we shouldn't do what we did, but we were in love. Right, Frank?
Frank: I wanted sex. It was a long time ago.
Debra: So, it was just the once, and then you got married?
Frank: It was just the once, and then we had to get married.
Marie: Frank, no!
Ray: Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Had to get married"? Wait. Wait a minute. So, Robert's...
Robert: What? Oh!
Marie: All right. It's true. We got married after I found out I was pregnant. And then Robbie came along seven months later.
Frank: Our plan was to tell people he was two months premature. Then he was born. Try passing off a 12-pound baby as premature.
Marie: Try passing it, period.

Frank: How come you told your mother about Amy and you didn't tell me.
Robert: You didn't ask.
Debra: You asked?
Marie: I care about people.
Amy: Marie, why would you ask that about me?
Debra: You know, I can explain it. Run. Just run and keep running.

Amy: Robert, why would you tell your mother that?
Ray: So she'd like you better.
Debra: You're worse. You lied so she'd like me better.
Ray: A lie of love.
Debra: Oh, God. I keep forgetting what a freak show this family is until somebody new comes in and looks at us like that. I remember that look. That used to be me. And now I'm one of them.