Debra: Listen, I don't get this. You work all the time and you have to go on road trips and when you come back you run off and play, and now you got to be captain?
Ray: Listen, I've been playing with these guys since high school and we've never come close to winning a championship. This time we're close. And if I can be captain, I know we can go all the way.
Debra: And winning is more important than spending time with your family?
Ray: Apples and oranges.
Debra: No, Ray. Apples or oranges. You know, I gave up some stuff when we had kids.
Ray: I know. Did it have to be sex?
Ray: I'm just trying to do it all that's all.
Debra: Okay you go ahead and try to do it all. I just think that you're choosing quantity over quality. Myself obviously representing quality.

Frank: [enters] There he is come on. Ray that was a great thing you did.
Ray: Not lock the door?
Frank: You stepped aside and let your brother be captain. Look at him. Captain Robert Barone.
Robert: Dad, don't call me that. I'm the same Robert I've always been.
Debra: Congratulations, Robert. We're really happy for you.
Robert: Thank you.
Debra: Isn't that right Ray?
Ray: I share his joy.

Frank: Come on get up. The Barone boys. Continuing a long legacy of athletic excellence.
Robert: Well, I couldn't have done it without Ray.
Ray: Always glad to help.
Robert: Hey, no fatty foods We've got games tomorrow and Saturday. I want the team to be lean and mean not soft and gooshy.
Ray: Don't touch my goosh.
Frank: Let's hear it for my firstborn. A leader of men. And my second son, a loyal follower.