Ms. Morello Quote #19

Quote from Ms. Morello in Everybody Hates the Substitute

Ms. Morello: Chris, I love your shirt. What does it stand for?
Chris: B-.
Ms. Morello: Oh! B-. I love that Black street slang. So what else did I miss around here?
Greg: Well, we were supposed to have a practice test on the statewide exam today.
Ms. Morello: Oh, forget about that test. I want to show you the gifts I brought back.
Greg: Gifts?
Ms. Morello: For you, I brought back a shield and a spear.
Chris: What did you get me? What is that?
Ms. Morello: It's a bone. For your nose, silly. By the way, do you know a guy named Induku?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Actually, I did, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.


‘Everybody Hates the Substitute’ Quotes

Quote from Ms. Morello

Chris: Ms. Morello?
Ms. Morello: Oh, Chris, you're still here. I was so afraid the system would have brought you down by now.
Greg: We thought you were in Africa.
Ms. Morello: I was, but there was a civil war.
Greg: A war?
Ms. Morello: Fortunately, they found a way for all the White people to get out.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Same thing happened in New Orleans.

Quote from Mr. Omar

Mr. Omar: [on the phone] He fell down the elevator shaft? Tragic.
Julius: Excuse me, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Hold on, Mr. Julius.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, he wanted to hold on, all right.
[fantasy: Julius is strangling Mr. Omar with the telephone cord:]
Julius: Oh, I'm holding on now. Now, who you gonna call?
Mr. Omar: Let go. Tragic. Tragic.
Julius: I need to make a call.
Mr. Omar: I'm almost off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He better be, because it's almost on.
Mr. Omar: [chuckles] That's what he here for.

Quote from Monk

Monk: What's up with you, man? You been looking kind of tired lately.
Chris: Let me ask you a question. How do you get rid of somebody that's been giving you problems?
Monk: Now, when you say "get rid of," do you mean get "rid" of "rid of," or just rid of?
Chris: Just get rid of. He has a job, and I don't want him to have it.
Monk: Boy, you better watch what you're talking about! You make a mistake. You want to talk about this first, or what?!
Chris: I didn't touch you. It's my substitute teacher.
Monk: Oh. Oh. Well, then, in that case, what do you know about him?
Chris: Well, mostly just this.
Monk: What is this?
Chris: His resume.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While the ghetto Rambo worked with me, the ghetto Gretzky worked on my ma.

Ms. Morello Quotes

Quote from Everybody Hates Graduation

Mr. Perkins: Can I have their fathers' names?
Rochelle: Ju...? Their fathers? No, no, no. They have one father.
Mr. Perkins: Do you know his name?
Rochelle: Where are you getting this information?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'll tell you where he's getting it.
[flashback: Ms. Morello addresses the camera in her class room:]
Ms. Morello: Unfortunately, I think Chris is a crack baby. The mother's a little delusional. Her brain is addled by years of drug abuse and cheap wine spo-dee-o-dee. She's actually convinced herself that she has a husband who works two jobs and that they own a house in the ghetto. You can't believe a word she says. [drinks chocolate milk]

Quote from Everybody Hates Cutting School

Ms. Morello: Chris, I'm sorry for shushing you. I know your people can't help talking in the movies.

Quote from Everybody Hates Graduation

Ms. Morello: Well, as crazy as it may seem, it turns out your father really does have two jobs. You're mother's not a heroin addict. She's even got a job. And apparently, you do own that house. Your family's doing far too well for you to qualify for financial aid. Chris, why did you lie?
Greg: So what does this mean?
Ms. Morello: I'm sorry, but it looks like you're going to Tattaglia after all.
Chris: But this isn't fair.
Ms. Morello: I know, but always remember this. When you get to the other side of the river, the streets of heaven will be lined with gold for you, me and all God's chillins.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was still in shock, so I didn't have the presence of mind to smack her upside the head and run.