Julius Quote #234
Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates the Guidance Counselor
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While the guidance counselor worked on a plan for my future, my father had a plan for my present.
Rochelle: Hey, baby, what you doing?
Julius: You want me to go get the kids' new school clothes, right?
Rochelle: Well, not unless you want me to take off of work to do it.
Julius: No, that's okay, but before I go buying new stuff, I want to get rid of the old stuff first. So I've got two piles: Chris' stuff that I'm getting rid of and Drew's stuff that I'm giving to Chris. That's right there.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'm sure glad Drew wasn't a girl.
Rochelle: So you're buying something for Drew and Tonya and not Chris? You want him working on his Ph.D. in hand-me-downs?
Julius: Drew barely wears something before he grows out of it. I mean, his stuff is almost new. Chris will be fine.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Guidance Counselor’ Quotes
Quote from Manny
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My dad didn't go to college and neither did my mother, so I tried to find out if I knew anybody who did.
Chris: Hey, Manny, did you ever go to college?
Manny: Always wanted to, but I found out I couldn't.
Chris: Why not?
Manny: I had this thing called "extenuating circumstances."
Mr. Omar: Like what?
Manny: I never finished high school. So I got a job here and when Manny died, I took over.
Chris: Wait, you had the same name as the owner?
Manny: No, no, no, my name was Lester. But I had to make a choice: change the sign or change my name. And that sign was expensive.
Quote from Chris
Mr. Abbott: Okay, let's start. Father.
Chris: Tired.
Mr. Abbott: Mother.
Chris: Bald.
Mr. Abbott: Excuse me?
Chris: Sorry. I was still on "father."
Mr. Abbott: Thank God. I thought you had a bald mother.
Quote from Greg
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother was throwing clothes in the box, Greg was thinking outside the box.
Mr. Abbott: You did unbelievable on this test. There's a lot of things you could do when you get out of college.
Greg: At first, I was thinking I could start up an investment banking firm, or maybe franchise a coffee store.
Mr. Abbott: "Franchise a coffee store"? That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. A store that sells nothing but coffee? Well, what you going to open up next? A place that sells nothing but staples? Oh, what's after that? A place that sells everything for 99 cents? [sniffs] You smell anything?
Greg: Well, see that's what I was going to tell you. I settled on being an astronaut. I'm... I'm wearing a diaper.
Mr. Abbott: A diaper?! You mean, you want to fly a rocket, but you're still gonna pee in your pants?
Greg: Well, they don't make you do it but I wanted to see if I could take it.
Mr. Abbott: Nobody could take it, Greg. Now, get the funk out of my office. [sniffing] Gah!