Manny Quote #1

Quote from Manny in Everybody Hates the Guidance Counselor

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My dad didn't go to college and neither did my mother, so I tried to find out if I knew anybody who did.
Chris: Hey, Manny, did you ever go to college?
Manny: Always wanted to, but I found out I couldn't.
Chris: Why not?
Manny: I had this thing called "extenuating circumstances."
Mr. Omar: Like what?
Manny: I never finished high school. So I got a job here and when Manny died, I took over.
Chris: Wait, you had the same name as the owner?
Manny: No, no, no, my name was Lester. But I had to make a choice: change the sign or change my name. And that sign was expensive.


 ‘Everybody Hates the Guidance Counselor’ Quotes

Quote from Greg

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother was throwing clothes in the box, Greg was thinking outside the box.
Mr. Abbott: You did unbelievable on this test. There's a lot of things you could do when you get out of college.
Greg: At first, I was thinking I could start up an investment banking firm, or maybe franchise a coffee store.
Mr. Abbott: "Franchise a coffee store"? That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. A store that sells nothing but coffee? Well, what you going to open up next? A place that sells nothing but staples? Oh, what's after that? A place that sells everything for 99 cents? [sniffs] You smell anything?
Greg: Well, see that's what I was going to tell you. I settled on being an astronaut. I'm... I'm wearing a diaper.
Mr. Abbott: A diaper?! You mean, you want to fly a rocket, but you're still gonna pee in your pants?
Greg: Well, they don't make you do it but I wanted to see if I could take it.
Mr. Abbott: Nobody could take it, Greg. Now, get the funk out of my office. [sniffing] Gah!

Quote from Chris

Mr. Abbott: Okay, let's start. Father.
Chris: Tired.
Mr. Abbott: Mother.
Chris: Bald.
Mr. Abbott: Excuse me?
Chris: Sorry. I was still on "father."
Mr. Abbott: Thank God. I thought you had a bald mother.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: You keep talking about tests. I'm here to talk about my son. I mean, what does a test prove anyway? Charles Manson passed some tests.
Mr. Abbott: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your son.
Rochelle: Well, I'm saying that there's something wrong with you. You're supposed to be a guidance counselor.
Mr. Abbott: I did the best I could.
Rochelle: No, you didn't. "Go find yourself." What is that?
Mr. Abbott: I'm not trying to hold your son back. But going to college without knowing what you want to study is kind of like going to a grocery store without knowing what you want to eat.
Rochelle: And telling a boy to figure out what he wants to do by telling him to do nothing is like telling him to learn how to swim by drowning.
Mr. Abbott: What are you talking about?
Rochelle: I don't know, but you started it.