Chris Quote #169
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Malvo
Malvo: Hey, hurry-up!
Chris: Okay, okay. Just don't shoot me.
Malvo: Come on, man!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You ever noticed how hard it is to think when you're terrified?
[Chris grabs the bamboo stick and gets ready to swing it]
Malvo: Boy, you don't want to do that.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He's right!
Malvo: Twelve dollars, that's all y'all got in there?
Chris: Doc just went to the bank.
Malvo: Next time, you better have more than $12 in there. I'm not playing, man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He's not even finished robbing me this time, he's already planning on the next time.
Malvo: Give me that. [takes the bamboo stick] And you better not tell nobody you just got robbed... by Malvo.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'm also not telling anybody what I just did in my pants.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Malvo’ Quotes
Quote from Julius
Julius: Hey, everybody. I got a surprise. A Betamax.
Drew: Didn't they stop making those?
Julius: They sure did. That's how I got it for half off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only time my father ever brought something new home was when it was old to everybody else.
[flashback:]
Rochelle: I asked for a sewing-machine! What the hell is this?
Julius: A loom.
[flashback:]
Rochelle: What is that?
Julius: A stove.
Rochelle: Well, if that's a stove, where's the witch?
[flashback:]
Rochelle: I asked for a car. What the hell is this?
Julius: A rickshaw. That's Rick. [An Asian man waves]
Quote from Doc
Doc: Now, come on, let's finish up these sketches.
Chris: Yeah, so, how did you learn to do this anyway?
Doc: I started painting nude portraits to meet chicks. Then I got good at it.
Chris: A little darker under the eyes.
Doc: Okay. Now, is that him?
Chris: Yeah, that's him.
Doc: Chris, that's Al Jarreau. Come on now, you got to focus. Every time we do this, it comes out different. Now, first time, this one looked like... Yeah, ain't that look like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? And that's George Jefferson. And ain't that Lionel Richie? Come on Chris. Let's just start over.
Quote from Rochelle
Julius: What?
Rochelle: "I'm just trying to tape my stories, blah, blah, blah." Julius, she's eleven, she made a mistake.
Julius: So what? Now, I can't get mad? You get mad all the time!
Rochelle: Exactly. But everybody's used to it. If I did half the things I threaten to do, don't you think I would have been in jail a long time ago?
[fantasy: Rochelle is in a jail cell with another woman:]
Prisoner: What are you in for?
Rochelle: Knocking my kids' nostrils off.