Doc Quote #11
Quote from Doc in Everybody Hates Malvo
Doc: Now, come on, let's finish up these sketches.
Chris: Yeah, so, how did you learn to do this anyway?
Doc: I started painting nude portraits to meet chicks. Then I got good at it.
Chris: A little darker under the eyes.
Doc: Okay. Now, is that him?
Chris: Yeah, that's him.
Doc: Chris, that's Al Jarreau. Come on now, you got to focus. Every time we do this, it comes out different. Now, first time, this one looked like... Yeah, ain't that look like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? And that's George Jefferson. And ain't that Lionel Richie? Come on Chris. Let's just start over.
More Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Malvo’ Quotes
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: "I'm just trying to tape my stories, blah, blah, blah." Julius, she's eleven, she made a mistake.
Julius: So what? Now, I can't get mad? You get mad all the time!
Rochelle: Exactly. But everybody's used to it. If I did half the things I threaten to do, don't you think I would have been in jail a long time ago?
[fantasy: Rochelle is in a jail cell with another woman:]
Prisoner: What are you in for?
Rochelle: Knocking my kids' nostrils off.
Quote from Julius
Julius: Hey, everybody. I got a surprise. A Betamax.
Drew: Didn't they stop making those?
Julius: They sure did. That's how I got it for half off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only time my father ever brought something new home was when it was old to everybody else.
Rochelle: I asked for a sewing-machine! What the hell is this?
Julius: A loom.
Rochelle: What is that?
Julius: A Stove.
Rochelle: Well, if that's a stove, where's the witch?
Rochelle: I asked for a car. What the hell is this?
Julius: A rickshaw. That's Rick. [An Asian man waves]
Quote from Everybody Hates Minimum Wage
Doc: Minimum wage. Shoot. There was a time when the maximum wage for Black folks was zero.
Chris: But now the government requires that you pay me $3.35 an hour.
Doc: Well, work for the government. Look, Chris, I like having you around and you do a good job. But I just can't spare the money.
Chris: It's only 35 cents more an hour.
Doc: 35 cent an hour... that's $28 a month. That's three cartons of milk a day, that's two boxes of Mike and Ike an hour. That's no.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's when I realized I'd found the one person cheaper than my father.
Quote from Everybody Hates Being Cool
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Before I went ahead with being a lookout, I got a second opinion from Doc.
Doc: And they want you to be the lookout?
Chris: Yeah, I mean, I don't want to do it, but these kids like me and I've come so far on my coolness. And I'm just the lookout. I can't get in any real trouble.
Doc: Wrong. You don't know nothing about crime, do you? You act as a lookout, while something felonious occurs, that makes you an accessory.
Chris: Yeah, but I'll still be cool, right?
Doc: Wrong again. There are a lot of subheadings to being an accessory. You can be an accessory before the fact. You can be an accessory after the fact. Or you can be an accessory during the fact. In any event, if you get caught, you going to jail.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Doc spent three to five as an accessory.