Sister Michael: OK, just a couple of things. Firstly, I'd like to introduce Mae Cheung. Can you make yourself known, please, Mae? Miss Cheung's family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you'll all make her feel very welcome. It's bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done... differently in this part of the world. But I'm sure you'll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal. Announcement from Jenny Joyce and the dance committee. "The school social event of the year is fast approaching, but before you don your glad rags... and boogie on dow..." I'm sorry, I simply cannot read this.

James: Jesus Christ, look! Above the stage, look! She's not gonna do a Carrie!
Michelle: Fuck-a-doodle-do!
Clare: What's a Carrie? What does that mean?
James: You've never seen Carrie?
Michelle: Aw, it's some film, Clare.
Erin: Amazing.
Orla: Aye, you should check it out.
Clare: Expand and explain! Expand and explain!
James: So, Carrie is voted Prom Queen and this bully pours a bucket of pig's blood on her.
Clare: Jesus Christ!
James: I mean, lots of other stuff happens, too, but that's the, sort of, relevant bit.

Michelle: This doesn't do my baps any justice.
Clare: Have you decided who you're bringing yet?
Michelle: I've narrowed it down to two. There's big Johnny Kells who works in Dunnes. Thick as fuck, but a massive, massive ride. Then there's this other fella, he's not as thick, but he's also not as hot, although I have heard he is really good with his hands. And when I say he's good with his hands, I'm not talking about putting up shelves, girls. I'm talking about...
James: Everybody knows what you're talking about, Michelle!
Michelle: ...fingering.
James: Honestly!

Choir: [sing] Doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee do-o-o It's Monday morning It's Monday morning Hip hip hooray Hip hip hooray Let's get going It's a brand-new day It's Monday morning It's Monday morning Come on, let's go Come on, let's go Paint on a smile and start the show Dum dum dum dum-m-m Oh, Monday morning There ain't nothing that I-I-I can't do... Doo bee doo bee doo On Monday morning Monday morning Oh, Monday morning Monday morning Monday morning, I love yo-o-ou. [Jenny holds shaky last note]
Sister Michael: Lovely. And I believe you wrote the lyrics yourselves. Is that correct?
Jenny: It is indeed, Sister.
Sister Michael: Do you ever think you might have too much time on your hands, girls? Lose the jackets.

Michelle: OK, now that Mae has officially joined the group, we need to give James his notice.
James: What?
Michelle: I personally think a week's more than generous.
Orla: Me, too.
James: Orla!
Orla: Oh, I'm sorry, James, but Chinese people are just better than English people.

Michelle: Why do we even have to talk to her?
Clare: Because she's new, Michelle!
Michelle: Urgh! I hate people I don't know.
Clare: And, in case you hadn't noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
Orla: We could keep her in my toy box.
Michelle: No, we couldn't, Orla.
Orla: Oh, she'd definitely fit.
Erin: That is not the point.

James: I don't feel so bad about missing it now. It clashes with my thing.
Michelle: The creep convention? Seriously?
James: It's not a creep convention.
Michelle: Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella, who fights with hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.
James: It's a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.
Michelle: Well, someone should have called social services, James!

Mary: How long are we supposed to go on like this, Gerry?
Gerry: I'm trying my best!
Mary: We've already missed Coronation Street.
Gerry: Well, every cloud, as they say.
Mary: I've warned you before, Gerry. You say another bad word about Coronation Street and you may leave this house and never return.
Sarah: And you'd have my full backing on that, Mary.

Erin: Oh, God. John Paul's over there. Christ, but it's been so awkward since we broke up.
Michelle: For fuck sake, Erin. He kissed you on the cheek at Kerry Coyle's 16th birthday party and then passed out in a puddle of his own boke.
Erin: Yeah. He missed the boat, all right.
Michelle: I'm sure the fact that he's poking a model is some consolation.
Erin: OK. Cara is not a model. She's done some modelling. There's a difference.
Orla: I heard she's gonna be on Baywatch.
Erin: She's not going to be on Baywatch, Orla.
Clare: I heard that, too.
Michelle: So did I.
Erin: They don't have people from Derry on Baywatch, OK? We're just too pasty.

Clare: [speaks Cantonese]
Mae: Is she all right?
Michelle: Burning for you, Clare.
Clare: I-It's Cantonese.
Mae: Right, well, I'm from Donegal and we speak English there.
Michelle: If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs and, seriously? Not a fucking word.