Uncle Colm Quote #13

Quote from Uncle Colm in The Agreement

Colm: As far as sausage rolls go, well, I could take them or leave them, but that's not to say I don't appreciate the work that goes into them.
Maureen Malarkey: Look, Colm, no offence, but I listened to the prawn cocktail monologue. I'm not getting into sausage rolls.
Colm: For there was a fella that lived on my street, and, well, he was a pastry chef. He's dead now. This was when he was alive.
Maureen Malarkey: I only came over for a bloody napkin.
Gerry: I'm sorry, I can't actually believe that I'm about to say this, but can I speak to him on my own for a moment?
Maureen Malarkey: Thank you, son. Thank you.


 ‘The Agreement’ Quotes

Quote from Aunt Sarah

News Anchor: [on TV] Some of the proposed reforms have proved extremely controversial, particularly the early release of paramilitary prisoners. And now, with only days until the referendum takes place, voters across the country must get to grips with this booklet, a 30-page document laying out the Good Friday Agreement in simple terms...
Joe: Simple terms! Simple terms my arse. I've read through thon introduction 30 bloody times. I'm still none the wiser.
Mary: [opens microwave] Wow.
Aunt Sarah: Well, according to Shauna Sharkey, if you vote yes, you're allowed to swing both ways.
Gerry: What's that now?
Aunt Sarah: Well, you can be Irish, you can be British, or you can be bi.
Gerry: OK, I don't think "bi" is the correct term.
Joe: Says here you can hold both passports.
Mary: Two passports? That'd come in handy. I'm forever losing mine. I think I wouldn't mind being bi, you know.

Quote from Granda Joe

Joe: Er, the release of all paramilitary prisoners, both flavours.
[Joe points to two different packets of Tayto Cheese & Onion crisps]
Gerry: Both flavours?
Mary: Loyalist and Republican.
Gerry: Of course.
Mary: This is what I don't understand. What happens to the lads when they get out? I mean, what does an ex-paramilitary do?
Joe: Gardening.
Gerry: Gardening?
Joe: Have you any better suggestions?

Quote from Granda Joe

Joe: Right, as far as I can make out, this thing has two main aims. Firstly, to stop us all killing one another.
Aunt Sarah: Fair enough.
Joe: And secondly, to allow us to govern ourselves from here, rather than England.
Aunt Sarah: From Derry?
Joe: I would say so.
Gerry: Would it not be more likely to be Belfast? Belfast is the capital.
Mary: Aye, but that was an oversight, Gerry.