Granda Joe Quote #88
Quote from Granda Joe in The Agreement
Joe: Er, the release of all paramilitary prisoners, both flavours.
[Joe points to two different packets of Tayto Cheese & Onion crisps]
Gerry: Both flavours?
Mary: Loyalist and Republican.
Gerry: Of course.
Mary: This is what I don't understand. What happens to the lads when they get out? I mean, what does an ex-paramilitary do?
Joe: Gardening.
Gerry: Gardening?
Joe: Have you any better suggestions?
Derry Girls Quotes
‘The Agreement’ Quotes
Quote from Aunt Sarah
News Anchor: [on TV] Some of the proposed reforms have proved extremely controversial, particularly the early release of paramilitary prisoners. And now, with only days until the referendum takes place, voters across the country must get to grips with this booklet, a 30-page document laying out the Good Friday Agreement in simple terms...
Joe: Simple terms! Simple terms my arse. I've read through thon introduction 30 bloody times. I'm still none the wiser.
Mary: [opens microwave] Wow.
Aunt Sarah: Well, according to Shauna Sharkey, if you vote yes, you're allowed to swing both ways.
Gerry: What's that now?
Aunt Sarah: Well, you can be Irish, you can be British, or you can be bi.
Gerry: OK, I don't think "bi" is the correct term.
Joe: Says here you can hold both passports.
Mary: Two passports? That'd come in handy. I'm forever losing mine. I think I wouldn't mind being bi, you know.
Quote from Uncle Colm
Colm: You can vote yes, or, you can vote no.
Gerry: Well, they are the only two options, Colm.
Colm: That's not strictly true, now, Gerry, for you can spoil your vote.
Gerry: Right.
Colm: I knew a fella once, Tommy Duddy, he spoiled his vote. Now this would have been back in, ach... we're talking '88, '89. Or was it '90?
Gerry: I don't care, Colm.
Colm: '90, at a push. Now, when I say he spoiled his vote, what he actually did was eat the ballot paper.
Gerry: What?
Colm: Swallowed the thing whole, so he did. People thought he was trying to make some sort of political statement, but that wasn't the case at all. Tommy was just an awful man for the paper. Couldn't get enough of the stuff. I'll tell you, if you didn't keep your eye on him, he'd have got the very Yellow Pages down him.
Joe: Tommy Duddy, is it?
Colm: Aye.
Joe: Took a bite out of my crossword once.
Quote from Granda Joe
Joe: Right, as far as I can make out, this thing has two main aims. Firstly, to stop us all killing one another.
Aunt Sarah: Fair enough.
Joe: And secondly, to allow us to govern ourselves from here, rather than England.
Aunt Sarah: From Derry?
Joe: I would say so.
Gerry: Would it not be more likely to be Belfast? Belfast is the capital.
Mary: Aye, but that was an oversight, Gerry.