Granda Joe Quote #87

Quote from Granda Joe in The Agreement

Granda Joe: Right, as far as I can make out, this thing has two main aims. Firstly, to stop us all killing one another.
Aunt Sarah: Fair enough.
Granda Joe: And secondly, to allow us to govern ourselves from here, rather than England.
Aunt Sarah: From Derry?
Granda Joe: I would say so.
Da Gerry: Would it not be more likely to be Belfast? Belfast is the capital.
Ma Mary: Aye, but that was an oversight, Gerry.

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 ‘The Agreement’ Quotes

Quote from Aunt Sarah

News Anchor: [on TV] Some of the proposed reforms have proved extremely controversial, particularly the early release of paramilitary prisoners. And now, with only days until the referendum takes place, voters across the country must get to grips with this booklet, a 30-page document laying out the Good Friday Agreement in simple terms...
Granda Joe: Simple terms! Simple terms my arse. I've read through thon introduction 30 bloody times. I'm still none the wiser.
Ma Mary: [opens microwave] Wow.
Aunt Sarah: Well, according to Shauna Sharkey, if you vote yes, you're allowed to swing both ways.
Da Gerry: What's that now?
Aunt Sarah: Well, you can be Irish, you can be British, or you can be bi.
Da Gerry: OK, I don't think "bi" is the correct term.
Granda Joe: Says here you can hold both passports.
Ma Mary: Two passports? That'd come in handy. I'm forever losing mine. I think I wouldn't mind being bi, you know.

Quote from James

Michelle: In fact, Cool Runnings is probably one of my favourite films.
Jenny: Right. I haven't seen that one.
Aisling: Me either.
Tomas: Nor me, I'm afraid.
James: We have to leave.
Michelle: Shh!
James: They haven't seen Cool Runnings, Michelle. I don't trust these people.

 Joe McCool Quotes

Quote from Episode Five

Gerry: Joe, it's all just a bit trickier today. There are so many roadblocks up, there are so many diversions, and, you know, I drive for a living.
Joe: He says this like it's something to be proud of.
Gerry: Look, we just need to get out of this place as quickly and as quietly as possible.
Joe: You know what age I am, boy? You know how many of these parades I've lived through? You think I don't realise how quickly a situation can turn? Do you think I would do anything to put my family at risk?
Gerry: No. Of course not. I'm sorry.
Jim: Aye.
[cut to Joe's car stuck in the middle of the Orange Order parade:]
Joe: What are you looking at, you tangerine tool?!

Quote from The Agreement

Granda Joe: Er, the release of all paramilitary prisoners, both flavours.
[Joe points to two different packets of Tayto Cheese & Onion crisps]
Da Gerry: Both flavours?
Ma Mary: Loyalist and Republican.
Da Gerry: Of course.
Ma Mary: This is what I don't understand. What happens to the lads when they get out? I mean, what does an ex-paramilitary do?
Granda Joe: Gardening.
Da Gerry: Gardening?
Granda Joe: Have you any better suggestions?