Rebecca: I mean I cannot just ask him if he loves Jeanne Marie because then he will think that I don't trust him.
Sam: You don't.
Rebecca: I know, but I should. But if I ask him, "Do you love Jeanne Marie?" and he says "Yes," I don't think that I could handle that. And if I ask him if he loved me and he said "Yes," then he would know that I did not trust him. And trusting him is the one thing that I really should do since he gave up his fortune for me if he really did give it up for me, which I can never know because I can't ask.
Sam: Let me see if I can put this in a nutshell... What?
Rebecca: Sam, would you ask him for me?
Sam: No. No, no. No, I don't want to do that. I've never been to prison.
Rebecca: Oh, well, it's not really a real prison. No it's like a minimum-security deal. It's like summer camp, only Robin has to spend seven to ten summers there.

Frasier: Say, where's- Where's Carla?
Norm: She asked us to lock her in the office until the heat wave breaks.
Frasier: For goodness sakes. I mean this has gone on long enough. The human female doesn't have an estrous cycle. Someone is gonna have to tell her that the weather cannot affect human beings this way. [knocks] Carla! May I have a word with you, please?
[After Frasier opens the door, Carla pulls him into the office. A disheveled Frasier emerges a moment later, closes the door and locks it shut.]
Norm: How is she, Fras?
Frasier: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Rebecca: Hey, you guys, listen to this. "Rumor has it that the reason jillionaire jailbird Robin Colcord gave up his fortune and freedom was a mystery femme. But so far our little caged Robin isn't singing."
Woody: Boy, that writer really paints a picture, doesn't he? You know, I can just picture Mister Colcord sitting on his little perch in a cage, sharpening his beak on a cuttlebone-
Rebecca: Woody. Woody.
Sam: Pecking away at a little bell made out of sesame seeds.
Woody: Yeah!

Norm: Rebecca, this is kind of a rip-off, isn't it? I mean, they don't even mention your name.
Rebecca: And don't think I'm not grateful.
Norm: What do you mean? You could have been famous.
Rebecca: Yeah, s-someday I would like to be famous, but not because I'm involved with a rich man. I mean, I would like to be known for some real achievement.
Carla: Oh, yeah. How's that cure for leprosy coming along?

Rebecca: You know what I mean. You know how the girlfriends of rich millionaires are treated by the press; like cheap sluts.
Frasier: You know, I think it stems from the envy that the public feels towards people who achieve a certain level of notoriety. Well, also the fact that most of those women have posed nude in popular men's magazines. But, you know, frankly, I wouldn't waste my money on publications like that. I mean, those letters are not real.

Paul: Wait, wait, go back. There was a picture of Robin Colcord.
News Anchor: [on TV] Sources have confirmed the identity of Colcord's mystery woman.
Rebecca: Oh, God! They found me out!
News Anchor: Colcord's secret lover revealed herself in a press conference today to be Jeanne Marie Beaulier, Charges d'Affaires for the French Consulate. Miss Beaulier...
Rebecca: Excuse me?
Norm: I thought Robin dumped that French babe for you weeks ago.
Rebecca: Well, he did! The nerve of that cheap slut pretending like Robin turned himself in for her!
Norm: Don't worry, Rebecca. Your friends know who the real cheap slut is.
Rebecca: Thank you, Norm.

Woody: [answers the phone] Cheers. Oh, hi, Mom! It's for me. Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw the news, but don't believe everything you see on TV. That French lady, Jeanne Marie, was telling a big whopper. It was really Miss Howe who was having well, you know, with Mister Colcord. Oh, all right. I'm sorry. I will.
[Woody hangs up the phone, grabs a bar towel and walks away]
Norm: Where're you going, Wood?
Woody: I have to go wash my mouth out with soap.
Norm: I'm sorry, Woody.
Woody: Yeah, well, maybe next time you'll think about the consequences of your actions.

Sam: Hey. This is getting very serious.
Rebecca: Thank you for your concern, Sam.
Sam: Do you have any idea how much that TV costs?
Rebecca: What?
Sam: The corporation owns this bar for three years, you don't break anything. I have it for three weeks, you yank my television off the wall.

Rebecca: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It's just that I didn't expect this thing with Jeanne Marie to go this far. Before, nobody even took it seriously. And all of a sudden she's getting national attention. Tonight she's going to be on Arsenio.
Sam: Yeah, I know. And thanks to you, I can't watch it.
Rebecca: Why hasn't Robin spoken out? I mean, why hasn't he denied this? What if what if he really does love Jeanne Marie? What would I do?
Sam: Hey. I know.
Rebecca: What?
Sam: I'll get my landlady to tape Arsenio.
Rebecca: No, Sam.
Sam: No, no, no, you're right, you're right, you're right. Then I'd be obligated.

Sam: Carla, uh, watch the bar for me, will you? I've got to go down to prison for a minute.
Carla: Prison? Isn't that where they keep all the bad, lonely men?
Sam: Now, come on, Carla. Don't.
Carla: Oh, Sammy, take me with you, please?
Sam: No.
Carla: Smuggle me in in your pants. [grabs on to Sam's leg]
Sam: No!
Carla: Please? I need a tattooed man! Please, Sammy.
Sam: Carla, no!