Diane: How long have you wanted to do that?
Sam: Do what?
Diane: Kiss me. How long have you denied that burning desire?
Sam: It just came to me. It was an impulse.
Diane: Good, cos if you've been thinking about anything between us, it's out of the question.
Sam: No, no, I haven't.
Diane: Good.
Sam: Listen, Diane. Thank you. I will put the past behind me, and tomorrow I'll feel better. But tonight I'm gonna feel bad. OK?
Diane: Yeah, OK.

Diane: Didn't you ever have a dream, Norman?
Norm: No.
Diane: Not at all?
Norm: Nope.
Diane: You never wanted something that was out of reach?
Norm: Well, uh... Beer nuts.
Diane: Norman, I'm serious.
Norm: So am l. Could you just... Yeah.
Diane: Everyone has dreams, Norman.
Norm: Everyone except me. I learned early in life not to have 'em. Yeah! I figure they're useless. They don't come true anyway.
Diane: Norman.
Norm: Yeah, life's tough enough without getting yourself all worked up over something that's not gonna happen. Mm-mm. Dreams, they just give you heartache.

Lilith: That's not Whiskers.
Frasier: Of course it is.
Lilith: No, it isn't.
Frasier: Yes, it is. Have you gone mad, woman? I'm telling you, I swear to you that this, this rat is Whiskers!
Lilith: My Whiskers was clever and bright-eyed. This rat is sluggish and slow.
Frasier: Well, he missed you. I missed you. I'm sluggish and slow, too.
Lilith: Also, Whiskers responds to the sound of my voice. This specimen shows no sign of recognition whatsoever. Whiskers? Whiskers? See? No response. Where's my rat, Frasier?
Frasier: Lilith, as a scientist and as your husband, I swear to you that this rat is Whiskers. And I must tell you I'm a little hurt by your accusation that I might try to fool you. I look you straight in the eye and I swear to you that this rat here is... He's on my shoulder, isn't he?
Lilith: Come here, Whiskers.
Frasier: Surprise! I got Whiskers a mate! Oh, you lucky rat. Oh! Now he has female companionship. Do I have female companionship?
Lilith: Not for a long, long time.
Frasier: [to the rat] Nice going, mister. Let's see if you're as sluggish in the snake cage.

Sam: [on TV] The Graf-Everett final may be a good match-up, but if you ask this I on Sports, the fact that Martina Navratilova decided to sit this one out
Norm: Ooh, to say "Martina Navra- whoever" without even-
Sam: [on TV] You know, I got a phone call today from a teenager saying I was taking advantage of my status as an ex-ballplayer and that old squares like me shouldn't be doing the sports. Well, Corky, tonight's commentary is directed right at you. [hip-hop music plays] [Sam raps:] Time to rap about a controversy Gonna take a stand, won't show no mercy A lot of folks say jocks shouldn't be Doing the sports news on TV I don't want to hear the latest scores From a bunch of old broadcasting school bores So get your scores from a guy like me Who knows what it's like to have a groin injury G-G-Groin, g-g-groin G-G-Groin injury. [music stops] Joanne.
Joanne: [on TV] Dr. Buzz, there must be some weather.