Sam: Well, she was complaining that she'd missed out on all that teenage stuff, you know? Homecoming, proms, may... What- What if we do something to take her back to her teen years?
Rebecca: Like get her pregnant?
Cliff: No. That's been done to death.

Rebecca: Just one question. What- What do you do at a slumber party?
Dorothy: Well, the phrase "slumber party" would imply that one sleeps, but somehow I sense that's meant to be ironic.
Rebecca: Terrific. We're really on a roll here.
Lilith: I have a patient of that age. I suppose I could do some research and help you put something together.
Rebecca: Thank you, Lilith. I would really appreciate that.
Lilith: Certainly.

Frasier: Say, Rebecca, if you're in need of some extra guests, I know a couple of fun-loving gals who could really use a night on the town away from boring old me. And, uh, Lilith, you've always told me that you found Carla an interesting, uh psychological case study.
Lilith: Won't you be lonely?
Frasier: Well, it'll give me a chance to be alone with Dorothy's books and a roaring fire.
Dorothy: Well, what do you say, Lilith?
Lilith: [sings] Big wheel keep on turning Proud Mary keep on burning Rolling
Dorothy: Rolling
Lilith: Rolling
Dorothy: Rolling
Both: Rolling on the river
Frasier: You know, you don't often get to see them loosen up like this.

Eddie LeBec: Hey, Carla, could you come out here for a second?
Carla: [o.s.] No!
Eddie LeBec: I'd like to discuss something about your, uh, grave site.
Carla: [o.s.] Be right there.

Carla: Why'd you let them in?
Eddie LeBec: Because for the last four days you've been sitting around moping and whining and scaring the kids. I mean, for God's sake, you haven't yelled at them once. Don't you think children notice those things?
Carla: You're right, I'm not a fit mother. I'll leave immediately.

Rebecca: Well, Lilith, you have the list. Where do we start? All right, let's see. All right, so on the list we have to do, uh, each other's hair. Then we talk about boys. Ooh, tell scary stories. Have a pillow fight, and then for the grand finale, assorted madcap pranks.
Dorothy: What kind of pranks?
Lilith: According to my patient, when the first person falls asleep, the others take her underwear, dip it in water and then put it in the icebox for an hour to freeze it solid.
Carla: Or they could let you wear it for ten minutes.

Lilith: Want another s'more?
Rebecca: Not sweet enough for me. I think I'll just have a bowl of syrup.

Sam: I know, I know you don't want to see me. But I'll bet you want to see the Four Swell Guys. We're going to be bringing you memories of your swinging teenage years. [deepens voice] Do you remember this, Carla?
Guys: [sing] Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Cliff: [sings falsetto] As I walked through this world
Guys: Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Cliff: Nothing can stop
Carla: Shut up!

Carla: Why do you all keep coming over here?
Rebecca: We're trying to cheer you up.
Carla: Well, stop it! You can't cheer me up. Why do people think they always have to rush over a- and talk somebody out of it when they're feeling lousy? [sighs] Look, this grandmother thing is just something I have to work through, and I will in time. There's nothing any of you guys could do. Unless you can make me 15 again. Can any of you make me 15 again? Well, can you? Look, if you really cared about me, you would just get out of my house and do what I asked you to a long time ago. Just... Just leave me alone.
Sam: You mean you really want to be left alone? [off Rebecca's look] Let's go, guys. Come on.

Anthony: What is this, Sammy, no date?
Sam: Uh, your mom didn't want me to bring one.
Carla: I always like to be the prettiest woman in my house.
Eddie LeBec: [chuckles] And you always will be, baby.
Annie: You're no magazine cover yourself.