Sam Quote #259
Quote from Sam in Where There's a Will
Diane: Sam, you have to talk to that man over there alone at the table.
Sam: Why?
Diane: Well, he came in here because he just found out he's got six months to live.
Sam: Oh, come on. You sure that's not just an opening line?
Diane: Sam, what kind of a reptile would say that as a sexual overture?
Sam: Nobody. I mean, not me, that's for sure.
Diane: Well, he seems to want to talk about it.
Sam: I'll talk to him.
Diane: How do you cheer someone up who's got six months to live?
Sam: I'll tell him I have five.
Cheers Quotes
‘Where There's a Will’ Quotes
Quote from Diane
Carla: Okay, who's the wise guy who shoved the l.O.U. in the tip glass?
Sam: Let me see this. It's not an l.O.U. This is a bunch of writing I don't understand, is what this.
Diane: Is it in a foreign tongue?
Sam: No, no, it's English.
Diane: In your case, that qualifies.
Quote from Cliff
Tom: OK, Sammy, this is it! This will satisfy the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and all we need is Kramer's signature and three witnesses and we got it.
Carla: Don't think you're gonna get a bigger cut.
Cliff: Listen. On behalf of the federal government, I think I'd better take a look at this. Oh, you misspelled Massachusetts, first of all.
Tom: What?
Cliff: Well, on the face of it, this is all prima facie non corpus interruptus anyhow. Quit wasting our time, Tom.
This guy, I don't know. Hey, what kind of lawyer are you anyway?
Tom: You wouldn't know if I told you.
Cliff: Well, try me, Raymond Burr-brain.
Quote from Cliff
Sam: "To Whom It May Concern. Please be advised that herewith I amend my will to provide the following... As a token for their kindness, I leave the sum of $100,000 to the gang at Cheers, signed Malcolm Kramer."
Norm: Is this a joke?
Coach: Cliff, check that out. See if it's valid.
Cliff: Well, uh, I don't want to pronounce judgment too hastily, Coach, but I think there is a precedent in the case of Penoyer versus Neff, when it was found that jurisprudence is the better part of diction.
Sam: Tom, you're a lawyer, aren't you?