Sam Quote #1584
Quote from Sam in I'm Okay, You're Defective
Sam: You know something, though, you know, uh... While I'm here, you know, I have... l have this friend who's got a problem, and maybe you could do him a favor, and- and write him a note, huh?
Receptionist: Saying what?
Sam: Oh, it doesn't really matter. Just, uh, well you know, uh, "To whom it may concern"... Uh, "Sam Malone," that- that's my friend, uh... "Sam Malone has a very, very high sperm count. Go ahead and have plenty of sex with him." Maybe, you know, sign it down here at the bottom. If you want to, you know, put that into, uh, medical terms, that'd be cool.
Receptionist: I can't do that.
Sam: There's 30 bucks in it for you if you do.
Receptionist: You're Sam Malone, aren't you?
Sam: Yeah. How'd you know?
Receptionist: Believe me, this happens all the time. The doctor has an opening. Would you like to see him?
Sam: Yeah. All right. Yeah. Whatever. Listen, uh... You really don't use a machine, do you?
Cheers Quotes
‘I'm Okay, You're Defective’ Quotes
Quote from Lilith
[some time in the future:]
Lawyer: I am sorry about the passing of your husband, Lilith. Frasier was a good man, and we will all miss him.
Lilith: Thank you.
Lawyer: Well, I now have the unhappy task of reading your late husband's will.
Frederick: You okay, Mother?
Lilith: Yes. Thank you, Frederick.
Lawyer: "Sam Malone's sperm count is well within normal range."
Lilith: That damn bar.
Quote from Woody
Rebecca: Woody, where's Sam?
Woody: "Woody, where's Norm and Cliff?" "Woody, where's Sam?" Now I know how Mr. Krapence feels. How come no one ever walks in and asks me where I am?
Rebecca: Woody, where are you?
Woody: Don't ask me now. Ask me when I'm not around.
Quote from Frasier
Lilith: Frasier, making out a will is a sensible precaution, and one you've been avoiding for months. We're seeing the lawyer this afternoon, and we have to get these questions answered.
Frasier: Look, darling, I find this entire will discussion troubling. It's not easy to talk about one's mortality. Oh, just the thought of of being apart from you and-and little Frederick... It's well, it's... It's just hard.
Lilith: So, who gets the wok?
Frasier: The wok?! My God, woman, we're talking about death here! My death, your death, the end of everything! Being lowered into the grave in a silk-lined casket!
Lilith: Yes. And?
Frasier: And it's upsetting to mammals like me!