Frasier Quote #434
Norm: Sammy would never withhold information like that.
Carla: No. He lives to talk about that stuff.
Norm: And we live to hear about it.
Cliff: Aw, it's a symbiotic relationship. Much like that between the shark and the tiny pilot fish that constantly swims around its mouth picking out the little bits of meat.
Frasier: I suppose you're now going to tell me that if George Washington had had a pilot fish, he wouldn't have needed wooden dentures.
Woody: Now you're getting up to speed, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Yeah. Yeah. And then he could have, uh, swum across the Delaware to defeat the Hessians.
Woody: [laughing] No Dr. Crane, try to understand. It's only the president's face that changes.
Cliff: It's not like he grew fins or something.
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Well, fellows, that's the bell announcing Clavin's midmorning brain twister.
Carla: Oh, you going to get up and try to walk again?
Frasier: Is this going to be along the same lines as yesterday's little pearl? If the Lennon Sisters, the Maguire Sisters and the Andrew Sisters all came to a four-way stop, which would have the right-of-way?
Cliff: No, no, no, no. This one is, uh, based on historical fact. Now listen up. How would the Civil War have changed if Lincoln had had octopus tentacles instead of a beard?
Frasier: For God's sake, Cliff. There is no practical answer to that question.
Norm: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Now we can assume that the Gettysburg Address would have been written on the back of eight envelopes.
Cliff: Very good. Very good answer, Normie.
Woody: Also, he could have disarmed John Wilkes Booth and still applauded the play.
Cliff: Now, in a related query, what if Herbert Hoover was able to expand his face like a blowfish?
Quote from Sam
Sam: I don't know. It's, like, maybe I was looking forward to it too much, you know? Like when you're really excited about a new movie. Like The Bad News Bears. Remember that? For weeks, people kept coming up and telling me what a great movie it was. But when I finally went to see it...
Rebecca: So it wasn't that great.
Sam: No, it's just Tatum O'Neal throwing a ball around.
Rebecca: Not that.
Sam: Oh, you mean us? I told you really, it was fine, honey.
Rebecca: Fine?! But it was a letdown, like The Bad News Bears.
Sam: No, it was... [sputters] much better than The Bad News Bears.
Quote from Rebecca
Rebecca: Sam, we have been friends for too long to let it end this way. And I just came back to say that I'm sorry I ran out earlier in a huff. And that I knew you weren't coming on to me, and that when you said I wasn't good, that it wasn't just some trick to get me back into bed, it was because you were being honest, because I am a lousy lover.
Sam: No, sweetheart, you're not lou-
Rebecca: No, Sam, it's all right. It's not like I haven't heard it before. I have to learn to accept it. You know, some people are bad at math. Some people can't skip.
Sam: No, no-
Rebecca: You're a fantastic lover. I am a dud and I know it. Robin just didn't realize it because he's English.