Carla Quote #799
Quote from Carla in The Cranemakers
Whitley Morris: Excuse me. Does a Carla Tortelli LeBec ne Lozupone work here?
Carla: You're talking to her. What's it to you?
Whitley Morris: My name is Whitley Morris. I represent the estate of your late grandfather, Antonio Lozupone. No doubt you know that Antonio deserted your grandmother in 1921. What you may not know is that he hopped a freight to Los Angeles that year, taking with him only his lucky quarter. He worked packing fruit until he raised enough capital to open his own business selling candied peaches. With the profits from this he invested in oil, and through judicious management of his funds, amassed a fortune well in excess of $20 million.
Man: Miss? Can I order a beer?
Carla: What do I look like, a waitress? [to Whitley Morris] Go on, go on.
Whitley Morris: On his death bed, Antonio felt remorse for the family he left behind in Boston, and he made out a will leaving his entire fortune to the surviving Lozupones, of which you are one.
Carla: Yeah, yeah?
Whitley Morris: Unfortunately, this was not discovered until the death last month of Antonio's unscrupulous illegitimate son Paolo, who suppressed the will and in ten short years, squandered the entire fortune on fast horses and loose women.
Carla: What does that leave me?
Whitley Morris: Grandfather Lozupone's lucky quarter. Congratulations.
Cheers Quotes
‘The Cranemakers’ Quotes
Quote from Lilith
Sam: How's she handling her pregnancy?
Frasier: Oh, same as any other woman. Perfectly normal, nothing unusual. Well, true, she does experience the occasional temporary hormonal imbalance, but you know Lilith, she's so repressed emotionally that only her husband would notice.
Lilith: [enters] Lay your hands upon me, everyone. I am life.
Frasier: Oh, boy.
Lilith: I am mother. My man's seed is nourished within me. Touch my breasts, my friend. I am lactating.
Sam: Boy, I tell ya, this is kind of a first for me, um... but I'm gonna pass.
Quote from Woody
Rebecca: So, Woody, where were you all week?
Woody: The airport. Oh, it was great. I met people from all over the world.
Rebecca: You spent your entire vacation at the airport? [Sam chuckles]
Woody: Well, yeah. You know, I mean, at first I felt terrible about missing my flight, but then I started talking to this really nice guy, and it turned out he's from India. [chuckles] Can you imagine that? I'm from Indiana and he's from India. We laughed about that for hours. At least I think that's what he was laughing at.
Rebecca: Well, l- l'm glad you had a good time, Woody. I- I didn't expect you back today. I thought you'd need a rest, so I didn't schedule you until tomorrow.
Woody: Great! I'm out of here!
Rebecca: Where you going?
Woody: I hear great things about the bus depot.
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: Forgive me for bursting in on you, but the little bud couldn't bear to be parted from his/her daddy another instant. Whisper to him/her through my navel.
Frasier: Um... later, after I finish this drink perhaps a few more.
Lilith: Oh, Carla, sister woman. Why didn't you ever share with me the religious wonder of this experience when you were great with child?
Carla: I was too busy puking.
Lilith: A small price to pay for becoming a fountain of life. A moist, nourishing acre of loam from which shall spring the future of the human race.
Carla: Speaking of puking, would you excuse me for a moment?
Lilith: I am a cradle of life. My womb is the Tigris and the Euphrates. I am a slender tendril reaching back to the primordial ooze.
Frasier: I'm planning on having her committed.
Norm: Must have been a very difficult decision for you.
Frasier: Oddly enough, no.