Whitley Morris: Excuse me. Does a Carla Tortelli LeBec ne Lozupone work here?
Carla: You're talking to her. What's it to you?
Whitley Morris: My name is Whitley Morris. I represent the estate of your late grandfather, Antonio Lozupone. No doubt you know that Antonio deserted your grandmother in 1921. What you may not know is that he hopped a freight to Los Angeles that year, taking with him only his lucky quarter. He worked packing fruit until he raised enough capital to open his own business selling candied peaches. With the profits from this he invested in oil, and through judicious management of his funds, amassed a fortune well in excess of $20 million.
Man: Miss? Can I order a beer?
Carla: What do I look like, a waitress? [to Whitley Morris] Go on, go on.
Whitley Morris: On his death bed, Antonio felt remorse for the family he left behind in Boston, and he made out a will leaving his entire fortune to the surviving Lozupones, of which you are one.
Carla: Yeah, yeah?
Whitley Morris: Unfortunately, this was not discovered until the death last month of Antonio's unscrupulous illegitimate son Paolo, who suppressed the will and in ten short years, squandered the entire fortune on fast horses and loose women.
Carla: What does that leave me?
Whitley Morris: Grandfather Lozupone's lucky quarter. Congratulations.