Woody Quote #386
Rebecca: So, Woody, where were you all week?
Woody: The airport. Oh, it was great. I met people from all over the world.
Rebecca: You spent your entire vacation at the airport? [Sam chuckles]
Woody: Well, yeah. You know, I mean, at first I felt terrible about missing my flight, but then I started talking to this really nice guy, and it turned out he's from India. [chuckles] Can you imagine that? I'm from Indiana and he's from India. We laughed about that for hours. At least I think that's what he was laughing at.
Rebecca: Well, l- l'm glad you had a good time, Woody. I- I didn't expect you back today. I thought you'd need a rest, so I didn't schedule you until tomorrow.
Woody: Great! I'm out of here!
Rebecca: Where you going?
Woody: I hear great things about the bus depot.
Quote from The Last Picture Show
Cliff: So, uh, what'd I miss? Why- Why is that girl, uh, running around screaming at everybody?
Norm: Well, she's trying to convince them that, uh, that Godzilla's merely confused and not really trying to hurt them.
Cliff: Isn't that the part usually played by Akiro Nakamoto?
Norm: Yeah, yeah. But, uh, she left halfway through the Godzilla series.
Woody: I don't understand. Why would an actress leave right in the middle of a successful series?
Quote from Bar Wars VI: This Time It's for Real
Sam: Come on. It's a golden opportunity. We can win this time. We can steal all of Gary's best ideas and use 'em against this new guy. And you remember how Gary's always going first? We can learn from that. We can move first ourselves.
Frasier: Very good, Sam. As that famous prankster Santayana once said, "Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it."
Woody: You got that right, Doctor Crane. Back in high school I was condemned to repeat History three times. By the way, the same goes for Mathematics.
Quote from Lilith
Sam: How's she handling her pregnancy?
Frasier: Oh, same as any other woman. Perfectly normal, nothing unusual. Well, true, she does experience the occasional temporary hormonal imbalance, but you know Lilith, she's so repressed emotionally that only her husband would notice.
Lilith: [enters] Lay your hands upon me, everyone. I am life.
Frasier: Oh, boy.
Lilith: I am mother. My man's seed is nourished within me. Touch my breasts, my friend. I am lactating.
Sam: Boy, I tell ya, this is kind of a first for me, um... but I'm gonna pass.
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: Forgive me for bursting in on you, but the little bud couldn't bear to be parted from his/her daddy another instant. Whisper to him/her through my navel.
Frasier: Um... later, after I finish this drink perhaps a few more.
Lilith: Oh, Carla, sister woman. Why didn't you ever share with me the religious wonder of this experience when you were great with child?
Carla: I was too busy puking.
Lilith: A small price to pay for becoming a fountain of life. A moist, nourishing acre of loam from which shall spring the future of the human race.
Carla: Speaking of puking, would you excuse me for a moment?
Lilith: I am a cradle of life. My womb is the Tigris and the Euphrates. I am a slender tendril reaching back to the primordial ooze.
Frasier: I'm planning on having her committed.
Norm: Must have been a very difficult decision for you.
Frasier: Oddly enough, no.
Quote from Woody
Woody: What's this, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Oh, they just want to know who to notify in case of death or accident.
Woody: What do they think is going to happen to me over there?
Rebecca: They don't think anything is going to happen, Woody. Just calm down.
Woody: What's this about not smuggling foreign meats into the country? What's wrong with foreign meat? And if there is something wrong with it, what's going to happen to me after I've been eating it for a week? And look, it says here if I mutilate this passport, it renders it invalid. Suppose I'm just about to go through U.S. Customs and some crazy person breaks into my luggage, mutilates my passport and fills my suitcase full of meat?
Rebecca: That's the chance all travelers take.