Cliff Quote #433
Quote from Cliff in How to Win Friends and Electrocute People
Cliff: You want to help? Well, uh, maybe you can help with this. l, uh, I been doing some soul searching here. A man gets a lot of time to think with a tube up his nose, and... What I... What I realized is that, uh, I'm alone in this world. I mean, uh, nobody came to visit me. Not one of my so-called friends out there even bothered to walk through that door.
Frasier: Look, and they all feel terrible about it, Cliff. They lead busy lives. They just couldn't find the time.
Cliff: Come on, Doc, cut the malarkey, will you? They found the time to visit Sammy when he was in the hospital. And Carla when she had the twins. Normie, when he went in for the butt tuck... I know why they didn't visit. It's because it was me.
Frasier: No, Cliff.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, come on, Doc. They don't like me, they don't really care. Come on, you can tell me the truth. Go ahead, right between the eyes, give it to me.
Frasier: Well, I suppose you're not the most popular person in the bar.
Cliff: Oh, and you are, huh? Doc, you suppose comments like that are part of the problem?
Frasier: Could be.
Cliff: God, I don't believe it. I mean, all these years, and I never realized it. [chuckling softly] Could I really be that insensitive?
[An elederly patient groans as Cliff sits down on his bed]
Frasier: Cliff.
Cliff: Oh, God, I am insensitive. Hey, sorry there, old timer.
‘How to Win Friends and Electrocute People’ Quotes
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sam: Sure, have a seat.
Lilith: Frasier and I will be covering over 4,500 miles round-trip and I think it's only fair that I share some of the driving. However, I am handicapped by one tiny thing. I've never operated a motorized vehicle before.
Sam: You don't know how to drive?
Lilith: I always meant to learn, but when I was a teenager, I was too busy having fun.
Quote from Woody
Sam: What, what are you, what are you talking about? Well, it took a lot of expensive and complicated tests, Sammy, but they finally found out what that pain was in my abdomen. The experts call it appendicitis. [all chuckling]
Norm: Woo, Cliffie, come on. Now, that's a simple you know, I had it when I was a kid. There's nothing to it.
Woody: I actually liked having my appendix out. My parents told me I could have all the ice cream I wanted.
Sam: No, Woody, I think you're talking about tonsils.
Woody: Well, it was a long time ago, Sam, but I'm pretty sure it was ice cream.
Quote from Woody
Cliff: Boy, oh, boy. How many times have I walked through that door, huh? Yep, good-bye old bar. Take care, old stool.
Norm: Where you going, Cliff?
Cliff: I'm going in for surgery tomorrow. Who knows if I'll ever walk into God's blue sky again. It's all up to the man upstairs.
Woody: Vic, the matre d' at Melville's?
Sam: No, Woody. No, never mind.