Woody Quote #328

Quote from Woody in How to Win Friends and Electrocute People

Sam: What, what are you, what are you talking about? Well, it took a lot of expensive and complicated tests, Sammy, but they finally found out what that pain was in my abdomen. The experts call it appendicitis. [all chuckling]
Norm: Woo, Cliffie, come on. Now, that's a simple you know, I had it when I was a kid. There's nothing to it.
Woody: I actually liked having my appendix out. My parents told me I could have all the ice cream I wanted.
Sam: No, Woody, I think you're talking about tonsils.
Woody: Well, it was a long time ago, Sam, but I'm pretty sure it was ice cream.

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 ‘How to Win Friends and Electrocute People’ Quotes

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sam: Sure, have a seat.
Lilith: Frasier and I will be covering over 4,500 miles round-trip and I think it's only fair that I share some of the driving. However, I am handicapped by one tiny thing. I've never operated a motorized vehicle before.
Sam: You don't know how to drive?
Lilith: I always meant to learn, but when I was a teenager, I was too busy having fun.

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: Would you teach me, Sam?
Sam: Uh, well, what about Frasier?
Lilith: We're too close. I need someone to whom I have no emotional attachment whatsoever. So as a friend, would you do me this favor?
Sam: Yeah, why not? When do we start?
Lilith: The sooner the better.
Sam: All right.
Lilith: Um, how do you think I'll do?
Sam: I've never had a woman in a car that didn't do great.
Lilith: Wonderful. You teach me to drive, I'll help you with your sense of humor.

Quote from Woody

Cliff: Boy, oh, boy. How many times have I walked through that door, huh? Yep, good-bye old bar. Take care, old stool.
Norm: Where you going, Cliff?
Cliff: I'm going in for surgery tomorrow. Who knows if I'll ever walk into God's blue sky again. It's all up to the man upstairs.
Woody: Vic, the matre d' at Melville's?
Sam: No, Woody. No, never mind.