Diane Quote #335
Quote from Diane in Diane Meets Mom
Sam: Say, do I sense a bit of tension between you and dear old Mother Crane?
Diane: Well, I don't want to blow this out of proportion. Doesn't every woman feel their mother-in-law-to-be is an evil, dark-hearted, psychotic murderess? I mean competitor.
Sam: What exactly did she say?
Diane: I don't remember it word for word. Something about, "l have a gun and I know how to use it." And then before she left, she said I needed a night on the town like I needed a hole in the head.
Sam: [laughs] That's kinda cute.
Diane: Cute? You think a death threat is cute?
Sam: Well, not as a rule, no... But, you know, your sense of humor is not exactly your strong point. Now, is it possible that this lady is joking with you?
Diane: Well, anything is possible, but what's funny about... a hole in the head? Oh, God... Is it possible? Oh, I feel so foolish. She must think I'm a twit.
Sam: Don't worry about that. Because when I first met you, I thought you were a twit, too.
Diane: Boy, this gal is a real kidder, huh? I mean, we're talking veritable goose. Well, fortunately, we're having lunch together, so I can show Hester that I can give as good as I get.
Cheers Quotes
‘Diane Meets Mom’ Quotes
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm: Going down.
Quote from Sam
Hester Crane: I understand you used to date that woman. I want to know how much you'd charge to start things up again.
Sam: You don't have enough money.
Hester Crane: How would you know?
Sam: There isn't enough money.
Hester Crane: I know what you mean.
Sam: No, I don't think you do.
Hester Crane: I think I do.
Sam: Oh, no.
Hester Crane: Oh, yes.
Sam: Oh, no.
Quote from Coach
Coach: Hi, what can I get you?
Man: I'm a phone company repairman.
Coach: Oh, hi, I'm a bartender. Ernie Pantusso.
Man: Phil Ryan. I got a call to come down here.
Coach: Gee, there must be some mistake, Phil. I didn't call for any repairman.
Carla: I think Sam put in a call, Coach.
Coach: He did? Gee, that's strange. He didn't say anything to me about it. I'd better give him a call and find out what this is all about. [dials phone] Bum luck, Phil, phone's out.
Carla: Give him a couple of seconds.
Coach: Say, Phil, I hate to impose on you, but since they got you down here on this royal goose chase, would you mind taking a look at the phone?
Man: Sure.
Coach: Thank you. Lucky thing he happened by here, huh, Carla?
Carla: Sometimes fate takes a hand, Coach.