Sam Quote #368
Hester Crane: I understand you used to date that woman. I want to know how much you'd charge to start things up again.
Sam: You don't have enough money.
Hester Crane: How would you know?
Sam: There isn't enough money.
Hester Crane: I know what you mean.
Sam: No, I don't think you do.
Hester Crane: I think I do.
Sam: Oh, no.
Hester Crane: Oh, yes.
Sam: Oh, no.
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm: Going down.
Quote from Coach
Coach: Hi, what can I get you?
Man: I'm a phone company repairman.
Coach: Oh, hi, I'm a bartender. Ernie Pantusso.
Man: Phil Ryan. I got a call to come down here.
Coach: Gee, there must be some mistake, Phil. I didn't call for any repairman.
Carla: I think Sam put in a call, Coach.
Coach: He did? Gee, that's strange. He didn't say anything to me about it. I'd better give him a call and find out what this is all about. [dials phone] Bum luck, Phil, phone's out.
Carla: Give him a couple of seconds.
Coach: Say, Phil, I hate to impose on you, but since they got you down here on this royal goose chase, would you mind taking a look at the phone?
Coach: Thank you. Lucky thing he happened by here, huh, Carla?
Carla: Sometimes fate takes a hand, Coach.
Quote from I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday
Diane: Sam, I know you to be a man of pride and principle, but strength is also to be found in the ability to bend. Witness the willow, nature's strongest tree.
Sam: No, I thought the oak was the strongest tree.
Diane: Only in furniture.
Sam: What about the saying "strong as the mighty oak"?
Diane: The oak can be felled by a single harsh wind under the right circumstances.
Sam: All right, but what about birch and mahogany? Now, those--
Diane: Would you shut up about the damn trees?
Sam: You brought them up.
Quote from The Proposal
Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.