Sam: All right, all right, I admit it. I'm not married; I lied. I don't know why I did it; It was a stupid thing.
Diane: Well, Sam, you'll find someone eventually.
Sam: No, don't do that. Don't-don't-don't feel sorry for me. I hate that worse than anything.
Reed: Listen, Sam, Diane told me about your past together. Maybe this public humiliation is the clean break you needed. Maybe now you can get on with your life.
Diane: Aw, you see why I love him?
Kevin: Okay, you want to tell me just what the hell this is all about?
Diane: Who are you?
Reed: He's, uh... He's a friend.
Kevin: Oh, now I'm a friend. Gee, I'm honored. Tell me, friend, why did you leave our place in Malibu yesterday without so much as a word of explanation? You made me track you down across country just like some sort of a gumshoe. After seven years together, I think I deserve better. Is he the reason you left me, Reed?!
Reed: [chuckles] God, no! Look, I- l'm just, I'm just doing a favor for Diane.
Kevin: Okay, you're very good at explaining things. Only this time, you're not quite good enough.
Reed: Well, wait! Please, Kevin wait! I was... I... l'm sorry, Diane. Muffin, come back!
[Sam offers Diane a breadstick]

Sam: The only reason why I went through all of this is so you wouldn't get the wrong idea.
Diane: And what idea was that?
Sam: That my life was empty. That without you I'm lost and alone with nothing to live for. I mean, that's why you came here, right, to see something like that?
Diane: I came back on a quest for the truth.
Sam: Ah. And you just brought along your one-man Warren Commission there, huh?

Sam: You want the truth? You know, I'm gonna tell you the truth. My, my life is so full it's... It's unbelievable.
Diane: Well, tell me about it.
Sam: Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, sister. You don't walk out of here for six years and then waltz back in and expect to hear my story. You know, I don't, I don't tell about my very rich and- and full life with just anybody, you know?
Diane: That's exactly as I feared. You're angry at me for leaving you.
Sam: I don't have time to be angry, honey. I too much to do.

Sam: Oh, what are we doing? This is for the best. I mean, y-you and I just don't work together. Yeah, we had great sex, you know? A couple times there, we had to perform CPR on each other. But, uh, you know, other than that, we're a total mismatch. I think we proved that again today, don't you?
Diane: I guess we did. If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a full life. I have my career, some associates, no family, a few friends, and of course my muse. Even Reed is just my dog groomer. Sometimes I feel a little lonely, but that's the life I chose for myself. So good-bye, Sam.

Kelly: Ladies and gentlemen, our new City Councilman, Woody Boyd. [whistles and applause]
Woody: Thank you. You know, I want you all to know that at City Hall I may be councilman, but around here I'm just your old pal, the Honorable Mr. Boyd.
Frasier: [laughs] That's very funny, Woody. Of course, we all know you're joking. But the truth be told, you know we all see you in a, well, a different light now. You've taken on a certain dignity and weight with this office, and you will be treated accordingly.
Frasier: Well, thank you, Dr. Crane.
Steve: Hey! Lonesome Cowpie, I'm dry over here!
Woody: Right away, sir.

Rebecca: Hey, everybody, guess what. We got married!
All: Hey! [applause]
Rebecca: We just ran off to the Justice of the Peace before we could change our minds. We're a little bit crazy, aren't we?
Don: She's a whole lot crazy, and I'm not at all. That averages out to just a little.
Frasier: Well done, Don! You, you grabbed yourself a real, a really, a totally... Well, you got Rebecca!

Carla: Hey, wait a minute, where's Sammy? Hey, Woody, was he at the swearing in?
Woody: I didn't see him.
Carla: Oh, no! Has anyone seen Sam since yesterday when he was upstairs with Miss Robin Deadbreast? Oh, no! Man, I slipped up! I let down my guard! Anything that happens now is my fault. What was I thinking?!
Frasier: Well, Carla, for God's sakes, relax! I mean, just look around you. Woody's got a new position. Norm's got a job. Cliff's got a promotion. Rebecca's got a husband! I mean, this is the best day in the history of Cheers! Nothing could go wrong today.
Sam: [enters] Hey, everybody. Diane and I are together again. [silence] Did you hear what I said? I said, we're a, we're a couple. As a matter of fact we're, uh, we're getting married. [long silence]
Norm: Congratulations.

Frasier: So, Sam, uh, you and Diane are back together, just like that, after six years of separation.
Diane: Six years of growing and evolving and self-discovery, deciding what we want from life and realizing that we don't have it.
Sam: Yeah, besides, uh, last night, we both discovered we still like... the same desserts. Yeah, anyway, what the hell, you know? I've always wanted to live in California. [murmurs of surprise and shock]
Woody: You leaving us, Sam?
Sam: Well, yeah, Woody. Yeah, I am. You know? It's time for me to move on, you know? Face new challenges and... And Diane said she'd get me a job at the juice bar in her health club.
Frasier: Well, I had no idea you had such exciting prospects. By all means go for it, Sam! Here's kiwi in your eye!

Frasier: Sam, can I ask you a question? And I mean this as a caring, supportive friend. Have you lost your freaking mind?!
Sam: What are you talking about?
Frasier: The two of you had a relationship whose best moments were full of anguish and self-loathing. After ten hours with this woman, you want to give up your life, your livelihood, and move with her to California?!

Sam: Hey, you want to get off my case, fellas? You know, I think you're turning on me 'cause I just want to get my life going here. I mean, look at me: What've I got? No family, no future, nothing to look forward to.
Carla: Sammy, I can't believe this is happening.
Sam: Yeah, I can't either, Carla. Yeah, after all the cheer leading I've done for you guys, even when I knew you were making mistakes.
Frasier: Oh, so you want us to return the favor?
Sam: Yes, yes, I do. And I'm not making a mistake.
Norm: Sammy what's gonna happen to us?
Sam: Come on, you guys. I mean, all you fellas do is just sit there and watch the world go by. You don't need me for that. I want to get off the bench, you know? I want to get in the game.
Carla: So, you just gonna desert us? You gonna just walk out, like a traitor?
Sam: A traitor? I need more than this! You know, you should need more than this! I am not your mother! This is not your home! This is ridiculous. Come on, let's just get out of here, you know? We got a plane to catch. Thank you very much for all your best wishes, fellas, and for making it clear that I'm doing the right thing. Come on, sweetheart.
Diane: I'm sorry, everyone. This is the best for Sam, believe me.