Margaret: Cliff, is something wrong with your vision?
Cliff: No. No, uh... It's, uh, you know what happened? I think when I popped the cork on the champagne, a little bit of the mist got into my eyes and temporarily blinded me.
Norm: Oh, yeah. Yeah, that must be why Sammy wears those protective goggles all the time.
Margaret: That's OK. I didn't want champagne anyhow. I just want to run out and buy something soft and silky to wear at your apartment tonight.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Listen, why don't you go buy me one, too?

Frasier: Now, Cliff, don't you think there's a pattern here that you should recognize? Now, both your high school incident and this current one occurred at a time when you were threatened by a commitment of a romantic nature. Could it be that your fear of commitment is so intense that it manifests itself in blindness?
Cliff: Oh, jeez, doc, that's true. You got to help me out here, doc. I got Margaret' coming over tonight. I can't go blind in front of her. She'll think I'm some kind of a wacko.
Frasier: You can't just wave a magic wand and make it go away.
Cliff: There's gotta be something you can prescribe... I mean, ointments, drops, leeches, something.
Frasier: Cliff, there's just no quick fix. I'm sorry.
Cliff: There's got to be some way somebody can help me out through tonight. Sammy, look, as a fellow studmeister yourself, maybe you can come on over tonight, help me just to get Margaret in the apartment, get the lights out, then I can take over myself and you can skedaddle. How's that?
Sam: Oh, you got it.
Cliff: Hey, thanks very much, Sammy. Then after you leave, my acute sense of touch will take over. [chuckles]
Carla: He had to say it. Now I'm gonna have the willies for a week.

Cliff: Oh, boy, Sam, am I glad you could make it.
Sam: Sorry I'm late. I had a matinee.
Cliff: Matinee? It's almost 8:00.
Sam: Double feature.

Cliff: Well, look, Margaret's going to be here any second now. So why don't we just go over the game plan, huh? If I feel myself, you know, sort of losing my vision, I'll give a little petite tug on the old tie, OK?
Sam: Tug the tie, all right.
Cliff: Then there'll be a signal to lead me back just in this area here. We're gonna designate the sofa as home base. See, I spent the last few hours walking around the apartment blindfolded. I know every nook and cranny by heart.
Sam: Didn't you bang the hell out of your shins?
Cliff: The first 10 or 20 times, but those nerves are long dead now.

Sam: All right, what else do I need to know, here?
Cliff: The only other thing we got to figure out is some kind of signal to let you know when it's time for you to leave.
Sam: Well... Uh, how about "Good Night, Sam"?
Cliff: All right, yeah. I'll go with that. Now I just got to figure out how to remember that.

Sam: There's Margaret. Can you still see?
Cliff: Clear as a bell. Clear as a bell.
Sam: I think now you're on your home turf, you're gonna be just fine.
Cliff: I think so, too, Sammy.
Sam: Go ahead, go ahead.
Margaret: [enters] Hiya, boyfriend. It's your little ball and chain. Oh, hi, Sam. I didn't expect to see you.
Sam: Well, I just ca... [Cliff pulls his clip-on tie off] Uh... l, uh... Came over to, uh... To borrow, uh... Cliffie's tie. What do you think? It's too short, maybe?
Margaret: Gee, I don't know.
Sam: Well, you know, the... The... The best way... The best way to find this out is to see how it looks when you're sitting down. Why don't we go check it out on the sofa.

Margaret: This is a really comfortable sofa.
Cliff: Yeah. It comes out into a sofa bed.
Margaret: Really? I'd like to see that.
Cliff: Good night, Sam.
Sam: I better fix this lamp before I go.
Cliff: Ah, take it with you.
Margaret: What?
Cliff: That's what Sammy came over for. For corn, a tie, and a lamp. You ought to see the way this guy lives. [chuckles] He's something.
Sam: Well, good night.
Cliff: I'll walk him to the door. Thank you for coming.
Sam: Thank you for the corn.

Cliff: Sammy, one more thing.
Sam: Yeah.
Cliff: There's... Uh... The dress?
Sam: Oh, yeah, you're in luck. It's a standard 22-inch zipper. One, two, three seconds, Max. Remember, it's an EZ glide. Don't jerk it. Good night.

Rebecca: It was nothing major, it was just a little thing that I wanted done for a long time.
Sam: No, you're right. You shouldn't tell us. That way we can let our imaginations go wild.
Rebecca: Oh, guys... OK, come on. I had a little tattoo removed.
Sam: Ooh, you're kidding. That's very hot. Whoa... Wait a minute. Where was it? lnner, upper, outer, frontal...
Rebecca: It was on my lower back.
Sam: Oh, lower back.
Rebecca: It was just covering up a big old ugly mole. I had that removed, too. [exits]
Sam: Kind of wish she hadn't told us. I mean, I was imagining something a hell of a lot better than that.
Norm: Well, maybe she lied.
Sam: Yeah. Yeah. Let's go with that.

Margaret: No, wait, Cliff. You don't have to run. Sam explained everything.
Cliff: Then you know why I can't look at you?
Margaret: Yes, I do. I know all about high school and Wendy Beaman and the blindness and Miss Tennessee.
Cliff: Miss Tennessee?
Sam: Yeah, I ran out of stuff on you, so I threw in some of my own highlights.